My Bed is Too Tired: "The Listener"

"The Listener"
24x36 Oil on Canvas

My bed is too tired    
and my pillow is dry
My blankets are cold
and my light is weak
My face is too wet
and I cannot sleep
my stomach is broken
that's where pain weeps
Bruises, too many                                  
inside out
and I scarcely speak
if I could I'd shout
no words to say
the puzzle's not mine
I can't fix this one
there is no time
I'm by myself
and I don't mind
It's warmer here
in cold sublime
The Listener talks
and I can see
she smiles now
here with me
In red cloak
and golden rings
hands folded
softly sing
Sleep, dear one
time will pass
and hurt will end
return again
to seasons new
here or there
Life or beyond
without despair
No Vincent!
I will not give up!
Damn you
for leaving.
Stood us all up,
Then used once gone
for a story
that never ends
and grows of your
despicable end.
Shall I go?
No, not today.
 My pillow is too dry
and my blankets need me.
Tomorrow is another try
willing even
 if I must cry.
and this is strength,
 I'm told.
to crumble to hold
to one more hope
in nothing but
breath, and
the desire to
see what's next.

   (Written earlier, this was composed mid-meltdown. I didn't completely lose my words this time. They came a few at a time, simplistic, and I hope not too confusing. I'm better now. I usually write when I'm at my best, but I think sometimes it may be good for others to see that I fall apart sometimes. My painting comforts me. It is like my, "spirit" to me, as if I'm reaching to that part of me that is always ok., and knows feelings pass, and peace returns. Thanks for reading.)

tina jones

Six Quick Hair Styles for Hair Oiling

How to create Six Quick and Easy Styles *while* Hair Oiling!

   You already know I love coconut oil, but any hair oil may be used to strengthen, soften, and help hair grow.
  The dilemma? I have oily hair, and I've got to go pick up the kids, run to the store, or "Oh, no! Company just showed up! I've got a few fast and fun fixes! smiles.

  I love the simplicity and elegance of the plain bun, but there's no limit the possibilities for style while we're oiling our hair. No more hiding in the house! hehe.

   Let's get started, with some easy, fun ideas!






To view Full size and see my other videos, see it on Youtube.
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rKTQgffd18&feature=youtu.be
 tina jones

Healing From Divorce

  A few weeks ago, I had the strangest experience. I suppose it's a marker for growth in many ways. A site I visit suggests friends, and an ex-family member showed up, I'm sure unaware to her. She looked beautiful and pleasant memories of her went through my mind. I was pleased. Her photos also contained some of my ex-husband. I discovered then that he had remarried....a year and nine months ago.
   Here is the strange part. I didn't see my exhusband. I saw someone I used to call, "friend." He looked content, and the lady with him glowed of happiness too. I found myself smiling at his happiness, and I said a prayer to wish them well. Now, here's the really strange part: I meant it.
   One knows these things will  happen, but it isn't possible to predict reactions. Somehow, it was good for me. I felt weights fall off of me. I never had to, but the notion that I had to keep thinking of him to somehow be there to take care of him fell off of me like so many scales. I believed all along that the Universe would look after him, but seeing this lady, made me trust it more. I'm glad she's there. I know he'd have been ok anyway, but I feel more at peace.
    Now, lest this sound too wierd, I've never been one to be able to muster jealousy. I never wanted to waste my time or the other person's. If they could be happier elsewhere, then I probably would too. Such is the case, infact. The relief is in while he never was *my* problem, my worry or mine to care for, I somehow let that notion go only seeing a few photos. Small miracle, to me.
   Ofcourse, I didn't friend the ex-family member. Best to walk in peace, no strings.
   It's been a journey this healing from divorce. It's been near three years now. I painted during the last months of the marriage of my own internal censorship falling away. I'd blamed him, but it was mine.

"Emancipation of Corpus Stradivarius"

24x36"

Oil on Canvas

   Directly following the separation, I painted headlong into the feelings. Embracing them helped me walk through them.

 " Disconnected"

11x14" 

Oil on Canvas

    It seemed fitting to close this chapter with another painting, so I took to my solace of canvas, and found freedom there. What came was more than the butterfly with delicate wings of those three years ago. The heart that bled was left behind. I felt myself opening, unafraid. I showed it to a friend, and interestingly to me, they thought the wings looked more like those of a locust. Fitting, I thought, how they come every seven years, appear to die off, and reemerge stronger and more whole. I don't know what's ahead. For now I'm letting the sun warm my wings, and forgive a little self admiration, but I've grown, and I think they are glorious.

  "The Unfurling"

11x14"

Acrylic on Canvas

Prayer of the Surrendered

This day, may I leave drive and determination fondly to the puberty where I practiced it. May I leave the self will and self propulsion of leaps of faith, and never forget what it was to surrender, deserving only the best, as all do, may I retain my taste for free falls of faith. "Anything" and "Thankyou" are my prayers. What a ride....when I'm not running the show. May I let go of making "it" happen, and live fully, passionately in the discovery of innocense.
tina jones


"Emma"
18x24"
Oil On Canvas



Longing and Satisfaction

   I sit at this canvas for most the hours of my life, and I miss little of the world outside. Occasionally, I break to visit a store or check a mailing. News is everywhere, and to these eyes nothing much has changed, save that I'm more peaceful with it all. Living and seeing as I have, so many things work out, not much bothers me. It's been many years since I've seen any problem that I couldn't reference an old experience to. Even then, if what worked out before did, then so would this.
  There's something about these brushes, or the act of moving paint. Without words, there are answers in the mere act of taking this action, or any. Someone once told me, "Those canvases can't love you!" in anger. Neither could they, it turns out, but being loved has never been a goal I found worth seeking. It works better to simply love. That I can do often with a brush, but in many other ways as well. My life is full of love.
  I am content with each moment with the gift of yearning for the next. I've heard it called, "Divine Dissatisfaction," that state of gratitude where I know I can be more, so I love. I paint. I strive without struggle to the next level of contentment.
tina jones

"In Blue"
8x8"
Oil on Canvas

Protect Your Copyright on Blogger and Other Sites

I found a gadget that helps to prevent the copying of posts and artwork in Blogger, and I thought others might be interested.

1. Disable Right Click:
(This will keep users from using the "copy and paste" function on your page.)

Click the following link and copy the html code in red. (Left click and scroll over the code to highlight, Right click and select "Copy" from the drop down menu.
http://www.boogiejack.com/no_right_click.html
Come back to your "Dashboard," (Dashboard tab is located on the upper right of your Blogger page.). To the right of your blog (listed there), past the orange tab, open the gray (arrow) drop down menu and click, "Template."
Click on any "Add a Gadget" box. A small window will open.
Choose "Basic" from the left collum. 
Scroll down to click "HTML/JavaScript." Paste the html code in it. No title is necessary. Click ok, then try it out!
  Want to try it before you make the change? Right click on any post in my blog and see the alert that comes up. This was simple and quick.
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2. Adding a Watermark to your photo:
   I'd advise, as I intend to do, that you also watermark your photos. This option will work on any site that you post your photos, because it's done on your computer before uploading your photo. You can
 put a clear or opaque wording over any image. Your photo editing program will have the option to "Add Text" to your photos. My photo editing program is Picassa. Within it, I click the "ABC(text)" option in the  "Basic"editing menu. It lets me type anywhere on the photo, choose opacity and place the wording anywhere I like. The words are up to you, but I chose my website. Other options are "Copyright by (tina jones). etc. I'll include a watermarked photo of one of my paintings here. I have the opacity set to one-fourth, so this could be even lighter. Most computer come with a photo editor. If you like, Picassa may be downloaded for free, here. http://picasa.en.softonic.com/ It's a simple photo editor.
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3. Resizing your photo:
   Another option is to resize your photo small. It's unlikely that someone who wants to make prints of your work to sell would print them, because the smaller the size, the less the quality of print. Around 100-200 pixels is not worth a copyists efforts. If they try to print an 8x10", it's going to look bad. Resizing can be done by Choosing "Export" from the "File"menu. I regularly choose 500 pixels or less.
First, Click "File," Save to keep your original high quality photo. Click "File," "Save As," to give you original a name. In this case, "Tizzanne Original Size."
Next, click "File," "Export Picture to Folder,"A small window will open. Type in 500 or less in the available size box. (I've gone down to 100 for photos here).
Choose a folder in the top box to store your smaller photos for the web.
Click "Export."
Once the photo is exported to this folder, "Right Click" on the photo and change the name of the photo, in this case, "Tizzanne for Web." This, so you can remember that this is your smaller photo. Upload your smaller photo to the web, and feel safer.
  Numerous other photo editors, including free options are available, Each will have slightly different wording for resizing/exporting photos. Here is a link to several. http://graphicssoft.about.com/od/pixelbasedwin/tp/freephotoedw.htm

"Tizzanne"
18x24"
Oil on canvas
This painting is featured in one of my many Free Step By Step Video Tutorials in the scrolling Youtube bar to the right on this page. Come paint along. smiles.
tina jones

If I Could

If I could, I'd tell you that all is well. There is no need for worry about cobwebs. It's ok if the spoons aren't stacked just so, and it's alright if you don't do the dishes. It's ok if you want to cry, and it's so beautiful when you dance. If I could I'd take away any self doubt you had, and show you not only that you're loved. I'd show you, you're love itself. I'd let you know that you're never alone, that alone is an impossibility. I'd show you that we're all one, and how very precious you are to all. I'd show you the best of your heart, and give you the beauty I see in you. I'd make the strands of light and love that connect us all glow for you. I'd show you a common purpose that is so simple. Love and be loved, and simply be Love. I'd take away the "if only," and "Yes, but," and I'd replace them with peace. I'd give you the stars that are already yours, I'd lay the ocean in your hands and show you your bothers, I'd give you mountain ranges and show you your mother, I'd point at the birds and show you that you fly.  I'd show the sun and show you how you outshine it. I'd give you music, your music, your song, and I'd let you hear it in the heart of God.
  But I have only this paintbrush, and eyes that don't always see. I get so involved in the illusion of what's real, and at times bills or a stray stroke of paint define my existence. Hangnails bode the end of time, and politics in my mind can all but steal my hope....when I forget that these tools are not my God. When I fight of my will against material ideas, I forget I am more than made of material. The physical me is no more me than the reflection I see in a mirror. I forget that like you, I am the stuff of stars.  Since we are one, though perhaps you'll see you, if I show you me. I who stumble, and forget I am Love, remember with me.
tina

"Tribute to My Fellow Angels"
8x10
Oil on Canvas

Come Home

 Should you choose to enter my world, then you must first forget. Become simple.

  Forget all that has been learned of life and knowledge and what farce there may be in accepted *wisdom,* Become an innocent and be willing to experience the awe of a child. Be willing to tremble at the strength of an evening sun, be willing to catch snow flakes on your tongue and to dig your toes into the sand. Become a child with me.



"First Kiss"
18x24 Oil on Canvas

   I shake my head at those who sarcastically negate what youth know so easily claiming life taught them differently. "Ah, yes, I knew everything when I was that young too!" They laugh.

   I tell you now, if you want to know how to hope or love, ask a child. They have not yet learned the cynicism, negativity or the defeat of social standards. They have not learned of judgement or who is better than whom. They have not built walls or shunned differences. Indeed, these people know love, and forbid they ever know the arrogance of my age.

   These are my teachers, the innocent with their small words, big smiles and real tears. These are my Masters. I pray to grow enough to become what I always was under the labels, before the standards, behind  my judgements. I pray to know the wisdom of a child.

   So, maturity is to me growing enough to unlearn and growing small enough to hope, to love freely with the wonder of a child. I seek such clarity, and miss it by miles.

   Don't grow up with me. Grow small with me. Come home, and per chance, lead me there too.

"Return to Innocence" Enigma: h://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rk_sAHh9s08