72 Questions I've Been Asked (Humor and Other)

I'm amazed by the questions I get asked.
Some interesting inquiries and comments have come up privately, and sometimes they come up publicly. Often these come up in everyday talk of art, so they may be useful to others.
   Some are about Art. Some are about Autism/Aspergers, and some are about at the end of my limits!  It seems more time conserving to write the answers here, rather than answer individually.

Quickly, this should cover most of them:

1.   How big are they? Think of your mother, your aunt and your grandmother, put them all together along with any vision you may have, subtract the b.s., and you'll be there.
2.   How long are your legs? They keep my butt from dragging the ground.
3.   You have no ass! You have no hobbies, obviously. Look up any picture of "The Three Graces," and get over it.
4.     How do you grow your fingernails? I don't gnaw them off. I also eat a good amount of protein, and can't stand snags. Those are filed as soon as possible. They don't get a chance to catch on anything and break. I'm sure genetics are involved as well.
5.    How do you get away with charging $900. for an oil portrait? When you charge $100, people tell you what to paint. When you charge $900, they're just glad you're painting. I average about 3 commissoins a year for several years now.
6.    Why aren't you married? I tried three times. It's not one of my talents.
7.    Where were you educated/who taught you to paint?  I have no formal education, and I didn't take lay classes. I have a neurological disorder (Asperger's Syndrome) that cripples me when around many people, and it also sets me in the 98th percentile intellectually when it comes to memorizational skills. (Yes it was tested.) I was born memorizing faces. Practice for decades followed by reading some books rather than chewing the backs off of them, led me to understanding and learning things like how to mix mediums. I was not born knowing what turpentine was. I also asked a lot of questions of other artists. Some of them will even tell you the truth.
8.    How do you memorize faces when people with Autism have face blindness/forget faces? Many times I know a face, but have no idea who they are. I forget people, but I rarely forget a wrinkle, a freckle or the hair growth pattern of their eyebrows. Names, unfortunately don't stick.
9.    Why don't you know about html, nuclear physics, and why can't you memorize the phone book like Rain Man? I have no interest in phone books. I don't like to talk on the phone, and I've no interest in being anyone's side show act. Physics of any kind, however does interest me, though I know little about it.
10.   What kind of shampoo do you use? I switch between different kinds and brands, but I do have a liking for green bottles. No idea why... I don't shampoo more than once every few days unless I've done sweaty work, and I don't use a lot of gooey products in my hair.
11.    Do you work out? Do I look like someone who likes to sweat?!
12.   I still don't get it? How in the world is someone born knowing how to draw or paint?! Think of it this way. Let's say you were born somehow knowing on some level about your sexuality. Small examples appeared as soon as you were able to express and demonstrate liking for certain toys or people. Later, you instinctively knew  you were supposed to do something with this inborn ability. Eventually, you figured it out, and with dedicated practice even at times obsession, you got good at it. Now, the rest of the world had to go to college for six years to figure out what goes where and why or to even begin to play with toys and like minded people, but you just had it in you from birth. By golly, You're a natural! That is how I know how to paint.
13.   Sexuality? You're a sex maniac like all artists! Ok let me try again. Let's say your grandmother was born with a flair for food flavors. She didn't know the names, but she knew what tastes went well together. Through passion and desire, she tried an idea or two, and at the age of five made one hell of a good cake. It looked like a miracle to everyone around. Dedicated, even obsesively at times, she practiced and became an excellent cook. Now, I was not born knowing any of this. I only ate one flavor at a time. I can, however follow your grandmother's recipe and make a pretty good cake. She was born with it, I had to learn it. She knows cooking like I know painting.
14.    Do you think measles vaccines cause Autism? I don't know. I never had them. Scarey, huh? grins I had both Rubella and Rubiola in the first three weeks of my life, before the vaccines were scheduled, so there was no need for them. Can they cause Autism? I don't know. Did they cause mine? Obviously not.
15.    Why don't you know everything about painting if you were born with it? I've not needed or been exposed to everything. I'm only 46, and I'm still learning. When I need something, I learn it, just like you do. I just learn better on my own than from books or others. It's neurological.
16.     If you're so smart, then why can't you fix my car? I don't know anything about cars.
17.    What were your favorite subjects in high school: Math of any kind and Science. Both break down the small parts of things, and are tidy precise works. I like that, and the same applies to my way of doing art.
18.     Why don't you eat sugar and grains? When I did, I got horrendously fat. When I quit, my appetite went down, and I lost the extra pounds.
19.    But the FDA Food Pyramid says.....: They also approve drugs that get class action law suits for dammages roughly three years after each drug is approved. My body says, "Don't eat it."
20.    What the hell is that hum in your voice?: It's stim. Many people with Autism have them. That hum is a vocal stim.  I also flick my fingers against the palm of my hand, hand flap if very excited, rock to and fro, and have a go at tongue chewing when it hits me. Try it. It may calm you down too.
21.     Did you ever try to stop stimming? Yes, I was punished for it as a child. For example, I used to thump my head on the floor gently and rhymically to calm myself. I was told by the person who "helped" me with that, "I just took the back of your head and slammed your face into the floor like a basket ball." They are quite proud of their achievement, and laugh about it. I don't find it funny, I find it abusive. As a teen and young adult, I tried to hide the stims and tone them down, but I was never totally successful. Aging, life experience and resetting my priorities, helped me let go of what other's thought, relax and just be myself. If stimming bothers them, they have a problem, and I can't help them with that. It works better to be true to myself.
22.     Can you cook? Only if I'm hungry, and even then it's not pretty.
23.    Are all artist really sex fiends? You do paint naked people.: No, but many non artists have a very rich fantasy life that extends beyond the bounds of logic. It is exceeding difficult to do anything else while painting, let alone consider having sex. Paint is a lot of hard work, inborn or not. It takes focus, and at the very least the other person would be cheated of my attention. I'm not someone who can read a book during sex either, by the way. I tend to get involved. Also, reading takes a lot of focus. I'm very slow at it.
24.    But you look at a naked person for hours and don't get turned on? I know your musculature and your bones. I also know the inner workings of your kidneys. That doesn't turn me on either.  What I'm basically looking at is your particular dispersion of fat. That will determine how light plays differently on you than the next nude.
25.    I can't draw/paint, because I wasn't born with talent like you: More than anything, I was born with desire. If you have that, anything is possible. I also practice a lot. If you do that, you'll get better. Further, I've seen many from simple Bob Ross type painting through portraiture without them knowing how I "learned" it. Talent or in my case a neurological bend doesn't mean anything without hard work.
26.    But I'll never paint like you! No, and I'll never paint like you. The world needs all of us, and all of our art. Don't short change it, by not doing your very important part. And don't shortchange me. I may learn something from you.
27.    Would you marry me? :Would you like to be slapped? What have I done to you?
28.     Do you ever donate paintings? Yes, I do two charity works a year, but that is my limit, and I'm backed up until next year. I choose who I do them for based on how helpful I think they'll be.
29.     So you're a self taught artist: No, again. It's built in. Are you a self taught breather? You knew it, not intellectually, but instinctually. Later, you may have learned controlled breathing exercises, later I learned how to mix mediums, colors and what not.
30.     Will you meet me at..? Not a chance in hell or earth.
31.     Why don't you charge for telling people how to paint? I wasn't charged for it. I'm sure given time, you could do it on your own, and I get joy from helping and seeing others get it. You don't need me to learn, I'm just here to remind you of that. The online stuff is free. What I have charged for is when people want to meet me to paint. The lessons are free, me being around people costs.
32.   You can paint anything! No. I have trouble with multi-layered flowers. It's more an annoyance than a disability, especially if the flowers are pink. The color irritates me.
33.    Are you into bondage? If you cannot sit still and pose while I paint you without the use of ropes, then I simply will not paint you.
34.    Why aren't you in all of the competitions?: How does competition add to my desire to help others learn how to paint? I get as much joy if not more from seeing them succeed. Competing against them is counterproductive to my desire. I'd rather challenge myself, my last painting, than worry about outdoing someone else. I find it a waste of time. That said, I do enter one competition a year just to see if I can outdo myself. So far, they've not let me in, so no one is in any danger. grins.
35.   Why won't you meet me? It's not personal. I just don't like you.
36.  But I don't have any money to paint: Use food coloring or coffee, and a shoe string on a piece of news paper. Show me your results, and together, we'll make it better.
37.    How did you learn to paint skin?: That one was harder. I had the misfortune of having bruises regularly as a child, and I had access to some old makeup. The 70's had a lot of different colors. I used them on my own skin to try to cover marks. I found that yellow for instance will cover a purple bruise, green eye shadow would tone down a red mark, etc. I got pretty good at it. The same works on a canvas. If the subject is too yellow, add purple, too red, add green, etc.
38.   Oh sorry: Stuff happens. I learned, moving on.
39.    Aren't you angry about this? I was for years, but anger is exhausting. They did the best they could. It was a crappy job. To remain angry is to remain enslaved. I'm free, safe, I've let go, I wish them well, I can't help them, and I'm content. Blame is a useless endeavor, and a good way to keep from being responsible for one's own choices. I'm a big girl now. I choose happiness.
40.    I think you're a Light Seeker, Angel, an Indigo Child,  my Soul Mate! Sucking up about meeting is not going to make it happen. I think you're nuts, and suggest getting help, but not from me.
41.    But don't you want recognition?! For what?
42.     For teaching people how to paint? I haven't taught them anything. I show some techniques. The rest is up to them. I just remind them that they can do it. They always could. Something about life makes people forget, I think.
43.    Fine! If you're an artist who's not a sex maniac, then how many people have you slept with?! Fewer than I've had sex with.
44.    So I've read people like you have no empathy, are you mean? No, infact I feel so deeply that it incapacitates me at times. Other times, the way I feel empathy and act on it, is very useful. Picture a fight between two very rough boys. One is getting hurt bad. Normal empathy is displayed in a group watching. Some empathize with the winner, yelling to cheer him on, and others empathize with eachother at the horror by holding onto eachother in fear and perhaps crying. I do not have these kinds of empathy. What I feel is for the person being hurt. I do not join the crowd. My empathetic action is to run straight in and stop the fight. This makes me the odd one out to the group, therefore they do not see my empathy, but it is of little matter, if I stopped the harm.
45.   So, do you think normal people are stupid by the way they empathize? No, I think different ways of feeling and reaction are useful in different situations. I wouldn't be of much use at a group comiserating over the loss of a hair product, and that need in society is met by those who can empathize with it. I just put my hair in a bun, but many are debilitated by what others think. They need the empathy of those who can relate better than I. People like this are much better at creating bonds than I am, and it's an inherent to them matter of survival, so I'm not trivializing by mentioning hair products. It's just an example I've seen.
46.    Don't you care what others think about you? Ofcourse I do, but not much. I care more what I think.
47.    Why aren't you medicated for your symptoms of Autism like anxiety? Along with Autism, I am also a recovering alcoholic/drug addict. Medications act in a way that is unpredictable in all of these. Basically, if the insert says, "Rare side effects" you might as well put my name beside them. In some of us, they do more harm than good. In others, they are life savers.
48.    Why won't you come enter our show? If I did that, I fear, and have been even warned, press might be involved, and I do not want to choke anyone on camera! I do not like crowds or spotlights. Best to let paintings enjoy lights. I do not find myself nearly as fascinating as your paintings. Further, I am not a press opportunity. I am a person.
49.    Do you paint naked? Do you do your dishes naked? Wait, I don't want to know. Pigments in paint that are toxic like Cadmiums, Titanium and Cobalts among others can be absorbed through the skin. It's wise to cover oneself. Further, don't eat while painting.
50.   Why do you do glazing? Your paint is not thick enough! Thick paint was invented by the Impressionists. I'm not that impressed with it. Oh it's fine and even beautiful, but it doesn't offer the glow of glazing that I want. It's just a personal preferrence.
51.    What kind of music do you listen to when painting? I often paint in silence, but I do love Andrea Bocelli, and if I'm painting for sheer silliness, I'll listen to Pop music.
52.    Why the loose black and white paintings when I've seen your realistic oil portraits? When I had cancer, I was very limited to how much time I could sit up. Setting up with two colors, a medium and a canvas was quicker than the range of oils I needed, and Acrylics meant I could get a lot done in the short time I had. I set a goal of fifty, aware that I might not live that long. I've surpassed the goal by several. I've lost count. Now, they are just fun for me.
53.    So...the cancer. Are you ok now? Yes, thankyou. I'm cancer free.
54.    Can you still have children? I'm a grandmother! Back off junior!
55.     How do you make time for painting? How do you make time for hugging, dancing, yard work, cooking. My time is spent on what I love, just like yours is. 
56.   Will you paint my deceased Grandmother? No. I no longer paint dead people. It's hard to get them to pose (humor). Seriously, I found that the emotional reactions of those I painted for were too overwhelming for me.
57.    Do you paint from photos? Yes. I take as many as 20 photos, and choose what ones work best. Something will show in one that does not in another. I also often do sketching from life along with the photos. Photography can be blurred, enhanced or otherwise enough off that I need life to see what I'm doing. The photos are there for reference, not for copying.
58.    Do you ever use a projector? I have, but it's been years. Personally, I love sketching. It's my first love, and I enjoy practicing it. Not everyone does. I don't see a thing wrong with projectors, grids or what have you. They can certainly expediate the process, but why get something over with that you enjoy? Also, there will come a time in each painting where initial lines are lost, and an artist's ability to draw will save that painting. So, no matter the initial method, I do encourage continued drawing practice.
59.   Are you rich? No, coupon cutting is an art form, and thrift shops love me.
60.    How do you dress as an artist? I just cover it up.
61.    Why are you playing with that wad of clay? It's called a "kneaded eraser." It can be formed to erase either broadly or precisely. It feels good to play with. Get your own!
62.   Do you stand or sit painting? It depends on how high the work is, and if I can reach it. Also, for me, standing aides in looser work, while sitting gets me more precision, and is easier on my back.
63.   Who is your favorite artist? It changes daily. Any beginner that I see trying stands out as magnificent to me.
64.   Why do you paint people? I've not found anything more beautiful or fascinating by spirit or visage.
65.    Can you paint in black and white, color, in oils, acrylics, water color, guache, egg tempera, spit and dirt, lasagne, etc.? If it makes a mark, yes I can paint with it. (so can you)
66.     Where do you get your patience for painting? Again, it's built in, like many people's love for chocolate. Do you need patience to eat a candy bar? Same thing. You're hardwired to love what you love. So am I.
67.    How long does it take you to finish a painting? Until I'm done. Glazing in oils, anywhere from a few weeks to about 6 weeks. Looser acrylics, a day or two. The rest are somewhere in between.
68.    If not marriage, are you interested in being a concubine? I'm perfectly capable of painting anyone with horns and a tail, naming it, "!#*##(#*$##!" and displaying it publicly.
69.    Where do you get your strength to paint? I meditate.
70.     How do you meditate? I paint.
71.     Can I paint you naked? I have no idea. Let me see your portfolio.
72.     Will you let me paint you naked? No.

  
  
tina jones

Glazing the Cherry: Beginner's Guide to Glazing

Glazing is (deceptively simple) an Old Master Technique used to create translucent color which allows light from below the color to shine through. When I began glazing in '97, there was very little information available on the net. Today, everyone is doing it, (I love that!) but the approaches vary. I'm a goal oriented, frugal and practical painter. I like to find the simplest ways to paint and pass them on to others. (One of the reasons for demonstrating with craft acrylics is to show beginners that painting need not cost a lot. This can alleviate the fear of trying, and more than anything I want you have the freedom to play.After trying a few things with craft acrylics, I highly recommend moving on to regular tubed acrylics or oils).
  In any medium the goal in glazing is translucency. Approximately 1 part paint to 20 parts medium is mixed, then applied over a subject. The result is like looking through a piece of barely colored stained glass. You still see the subject clearly, it has only a blush of color. The mix can be much more translucent than what I will show you, meaning it can be a ratio of 1 part paint and 50 parts medium.
 (Here, I'm using FolkArt's Floating Medium for craft acrylics. Golden has a glazing liquid that works wonderfully for regular acrylics. In my oil work, I use Liquin for oil paints. Use a medium suited to water for water based paints like acrylics and one suited for oils in oil based paints.)
   Glazes must be allow to dry completely. After, subsequent glazes may be added allowing each layer to dry before adding another. My portraits have about 15 to 20 glazes. (For this demo, we will only do 3 glazes._ Glazing produces natural, translucent looking skin (on people or cherries) that can't be produced using opaque colors. Again, the point is to see through them.
   I'm working in craft Acrylic here to demonstrate. The penny is to give an idea of the amounts. There is no need for precision whatsoever.
1. is pure paint in Apple Barrel's Bright Red. Below it is what I am using to glaze. It's FolkArt's Floating Medium. I've added a scant of black to the medium only so you can see it in the photo. It's perfectly colorless.
2. is how much medium and paint I'll mix. Just touching the tiniest dot of paint (1 part paint) to about 20 parts medium.
3 is what they look like mixed, and I've dragged the paint out to show that you can see through it.

Creating a Glaze

   I find it best to apply glazes with a flat brush or an angular flat. I like the point on an angular to get into small places easily, and I can lay it flat to apply glazes in smoothe, wide areas. Here's a demonstration on one of my black and white works. I've painted a cherry and lime peel in grayscale (black and white.) I've made glazes with each of 3 colors as I needed them (acrylics dry quick, so make them when ready to use them). Each was made just like the photo above.

Colors:    Apple Barrell Pumpkin Orange
             Apple Barrell  Bright Red
             FolkArt True Burgundy
Using my flat brush or my angular I apply Orange first in the lightest areas. It's ok and sometimes desireable to go over whites with this. Later, if needed you can touch those pure white highlights back in. (As you can see, there is very, very little change in this painting in the first glaze. Each glaze builds color, and each allows us to see through to the light underneath. This is also used to be able to see through skin where veins are painted.) Allow this layer to dry completely. Depending on the humidity, Acrylics are dry in about 10-20 minutes.


Orange Glaze

The second glaze is done in the shadows in True Burgundy.

The third Red is our Bright Red. This is in the light areas between the orange and True Burgundy. Note that all of these colors can overlap. This causes a visual blending, meaning they look blended, though we never blended the colors.



Now, Glazing is a New Master Technique. It's yours. smiles.

 Here's my finished work which has the addition of Apple Barrell Leaf Green for the stem and the lime peel.

 "Cherry Lime"
8x10"
Acrylic on Canvas

If you would like to see a start to finish simple demo on creating this painting in grayscale. See my step-by-step tutorial here:
http://forums.about.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=ab-painting&tid=16091







How To Say, "No."

   No, is one of the most difficult words in the English language, and likely in other languages. It hides in "maybe," "I don't know," and even "yes" sometimes. We regret having said, "OK" and end up resenting the people we said, "Maybe" to, all in an act to avoid the uttering of the word, "No."
  It's not an evil word. It's not a bad word, it is a nice word, and the people who care aren't going to drop off of the face of the planet if we say, "No." Those who do disappear, are simply making room for a better friendship in your life. When we hang on to people who would use us, we steal a happier self from those who really do care.
  Come on. Try it with me, "No."......"No, no, no, no, no." See? Nobody died. Whisper it in private, or practice in the mirror if you need to, just to see how it feels. You will be able to say it to another human being despite the lump in your throat, the sweating and even the shaking.
  We hear the word, "No, so much as toddlers, that it's one of the first words we learn, and then get scolded for saying it. It doesn't feel good. It feels wrong, and forbid.....it feels mean. Nothing,  however is more cruel to a friend or loved one, than our saying, "Yes" to something we don't want to do, then resenting them for not reading our minds. The resentment can last for ages, and destroy tender relationships, when all that was needed on the spot was a "No." Painful, mean or frightening as it sounds in the moment, "No," is one of the most merciful and loving (Did you hear that? "LOVING") words that can be said.
   No reason is needed for the word, "No." If you provide a reason that you can't do or won't do what's being asked, the person requesting will find a way to fix that reason for you. Not wanting to do a thing is reason enough. "No." is enough to say. There are multitudes of ways to say, "No." The easiest and simplest is a kind and firm, "No." I've gathered a few, "No's" that have worked for me. Use them, and use them often enough to ward off resentment.

1- "No."
2- "Hell, No!"
3- "Yes, but NOT with you."

   So many trusts are broken by unspoken, "No's." Often, we blame others, when the responsibility laid  in our own laps. We were dishonest, when we said, "Yes" to things that went against our truest selves. We can become more real with the ones we love.
  Suppose you commit to saying, "No," once a week for practice, and you mess up once? You can go back to the person, and say, "I was wrong. I need to say, "No" to this." Make it ok with you to be wrong, to make mistakes, to step in something, and step right back out of it.
   The beauty of "No," is more than freedom from resentments. Once people get used to you saying it, they begin to trust that when you get to say, "Yes," you mean it completely. When we are more true to ourselves, we are more true and open to others. "No," is a very, very loving word.
 
   Peace be with you, and those you love.
tina jones


"Kiss Off"
(Self Portrait)
11x14"
Acrylic on Canvas



Dog Painting Tutorial: Using a Grid

What if I gave you this  grey square and a white pencil or paint, and I asked you to draw only the small white part in the lower right corner? What if I told you it didn't have to be exact, just roughly 1/4th of the way from the right side, and about 1/5th of the way from the bottom? What if I said a little smearing was ok? Could you draw this? Likely, you could.

How about this square? This time the shape is about 1/4th of the way from the right, but it's about 1/3rd of the way from the bottom. It also has a little hot dog shape on it. Could you draw the shapes loosely? I think so.

How About this one? Let's see. A curve close to the lower left corner curves up to not quite 1/3rd of the way up on the right. It has some dark lines in it. There is another shape here on the upper right. Can you imagine drawing these shapes?













What if I told you that I was going to give you 36 squares to work with, but that 8 of them were already finished for you? Could you leave those 8 alone? Ofcourse, you could. Now, you have 27 squares to draw or paint shapes in that don't have to be perfect.

What if some of the shapes had angles? I think you can.

What if a few of the shapes had different directions of loose strokes. Here, at the bottm left there are a few curves from the bottom to the left side, and on top of them theres sort of an arrow shape pointing down.
  From the top dark and light lines mixed up all go toward the arrow.
  I think you can do this too. Remember, it's loose and it doesn't have be accurate, just general direction.
  Nice abstract, I'd say. smiles.





   The squares are from a 5x7 print. I measured with a ruler and marked off each inch. Then I numbered them. I've put an "X" on each square where there is nothing of the dog for me to draw. The first square I showed you, was 2 across and 2 from the top. See if you can locate the others.

"Sure!" You'll say, "but there is an awful lot of information in some of those squares!"

This is true. Take 2 down and 4 across, for instance. It has most of the face in it. What if I told you, we can simplify it?

Within any square, we can create another grid. Here I've divided 2 down and 4 across into smaller pieces. These smaller pieces are simpler to render. Look at the top line, three across. You can do this. 

For my canvas, I painted it a sloppy medium grey and I made a grid just like the one on the photo in a white pastel (like chalk) pencil. I can wipe the grid away when I'm done. I chose to make my grid on the canvas 2x2", so my painting is twice the size of the photo.  Here is the dog with all of the 27 squares filled in. More work will be done refiining, but already this is a good representation of the above dog.

Using your own photo, choose a simple image, even a ball or a cup. Print it and make your grid on the paper image. Create your grid on your drawing/painting surface, and start filling in the squares!

OH! And don't be afraid to play...

                                                                              OR

  Bring that Puppy Home! hehe!

 "Stryker"

11x14 Acrylic on Canvas

tina jones