Google+ Followers

Friday, November 6, 2015

Anita, the singing cashier: My Ongoing Understanding of Neurotypicals

I didn't want to bother her. She and two others were standing, waiting at the entrances to their checkout lanes, but I'd already turned in the direction of her aisle, before I noticed she looked a little labored to be standing, and she'd done caught me with the dreaded.....eye contact.. I was stuck. 

   She turned to go the short way to her register to meet me, but someone was blocking her with one of those riding carts. "I'll just go this way," she said, and Anita (so her tag said) went hobbling.

I felt like such a terrible person, until I heard it, "Do, do, doo, do, ...Do, dado-do..." I don't know the tune, but she was, "Do, da,doo-ing" possibly the most pleasant bit of Scat singing I've heard. I was putting my things on the counter when she made it to the register, and I, smiling, said, "It was worth the trip, just for the song." People filed in behind me, and she smiled at my comment, and raised the volume and her smile, whereupon I began, my subtlest of jigs, mostly the shoulders and head...a little arm and hand hula action - nothing overboard. 

 Ah, she sang along, and it was beautiful, and I happily paid for the lettuce and cheese. I took the bags from the carousel, and put them in my cart saying, "I think I got them all." She answered playfully, white hair sparkling and lilt in her voice, "Let's give it the traditional twirl and see!" and she spun the carousel while I spun a hand in the air to flourish with a wave, and bid good evening with a shared giggle and thanks for the song...

Should you find yourself in the aisle of Anita, the singing cashier, I recommend dancing along. She knows her stuff! :)

tina jones

Thursday, October 29, 2015

What's It All For?

What's it all for?

   I haven't published a blog post in ages, and my apologies. I've written a lot, but it was mostly for my own growth, and far too self centered to torture another with. I've asked myself the same old questions that I come to time and again, and each time the answers seem to get a little simpler, and a little clearer. 

   I was scrolling through posts here on Facebook, and happened upon a picture of an older celebrity holding his grandbaby. Seems he got the job of sitter for the night. He was holding this baby asleep on his chest, and granddad was smiling.

Another celebrity has recently taken to taking in farm animals with his family, and each seem to be a little more out of the spotlight, and likely making fewer dollars.

 All of those weeks, and hours, pay periods and always saying just the right thing, or having just the right suit or hair cut...That wasn't the point...It never is.

It's, "The farm" and the grand babies, the grey hair and sleepy smiles. It's the moment when there isn't a crowd or a boss or a soul to please, except a few that a person might like to keep close. Even then, I'm not sure if pleasing loved ones is by accident or design, or maybe they love us despite us.

  I think it's those moments of baby's breath and the stopping time when the stars come out when you just look and feel so small... I think that's what it's all for -the work, the struggle of all kinds. It's all for the sweetness of letting go...

with love, 

tina jones

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

I'm a Great Introvert

I'm a great introvert. You never hear an extrovert saying, "I'm a terrible extrovert," yet I all too often hear, "I'm a terrible introvert." Self judgement can be pretty cruel. I don't talk a lot, but I am a great listener, because I can be still and not have to fill the air with meaningless sound. Conversation isn't a performance, nor a competitive sport. It's a real opportunity to connect, and if no one is listening, it wont happen. If you don't know what to say, that's your cue that listening is your job in that moment. If they don't know what to say, I don't have to rescue them from silence either. Silence between people can be a very, very beautiful thing. For me, that awkward stage of not knowing what to say, is a natural place on the path to realizing nothing need be said. (and it didn't just happen in the beginning. It's just I stopped judging myself for it.) The way I am around people (or in any situation) is not what I thought it was or should be when I was drinking. It's all new. If others are uncomfortable with your stillness, they have steps too. Be good to you. If you're like I was, it's about time to do so. Until you're more comfortable with it, you can do what I and so many others have done. smiles. Be that member that brings their crochet to meetings. It worked for me. and I never even liked crocheting.   07/23/97 (But the only sobriety that counts is what I have right in this moment) An aside. I'm a very private person, and out of respect for that and A.A., I keep recovery to private groups, so I don't accept outside friend requests, any more than I'd invite all of you into my living room if we were at a face to face meeting. I'm off to listen some more...I'm still learning.