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Thursday, April 26, 2012

Silliness: The Best Pain Reliever I Know

If I have any talent, it's that of putting carts before horses.
I always thought I had to feel good to do anything good, but I realized (through the patience of dear friends) that if I did it, I might come to feel it.
 Feeling good became the result of action.
The last few days have been difficult for me. I had worried myself into a full blown meltdown. The knowledge that worry has never accomplished a thing for me, hasn't stopped me from indulging in it, as often as I wish it would. Fortunately, through years of practice in taking care of myself, not trying to please others, meltdowns don't happen but a few times a year for me now. This was, at one time, a daily occurrence, then weekly, monthly, etc.
  Meltdowns: For me that means a shutting down of emotions, followed by a near fetal crying bout, and a general sense of doom. It happens. I had gotten so deep in to other people's problems, put on my Joan of Arc suit, and mentally beat myself up with it.
 Fortunately, there are surrenders beyond surrender. For me, I can't stuff the feelings. Feelings are patient things. They will wait for me, and come out at the most inopportune times!
 What works for me: I let it happen. I get down in it, crawl in it, roll around in it, and get it done and over with. I don't cry, I bawl, I shake, I feel every last bit of it, because I've no mind to save that stuff up for later. Today's leftover emotion will seep into tomorrow, if I don't feel it now. Once my eyes are sufficiently puffy, nose blown and breathing again, I get to work! Work, means being gentle with myself, and taking steps to get back to balance.
  I used to believe that other people made me happy or unhappy. (Yet another instance of cart before horse) The truth is that when I take care of me, get myself in a happy place, I attract happy people. They can add to it, but they can not "make" me happy. They can't take it away either. I am responsible for me, and when I remember that, all sorts of wonderful things happen.
  Some of the things I may do privately are play a game, sing poorly, shower,  take a nap, move to another room, clean a room, mess up a room, dance poorly (I'm a natural)......anything to shift my track. Some of the things I do involving others, are to listen to music that makes me feel good, paint something even badly,..... yes right in the middle of not feeling good. I find something, anything that I think someone, anyone else might enjoy, and I send it to them. It doesn't matter who it is. When I am that down, I've become internally stagnant and stuck. Those emotions are sitting there like pond water, and my task is to get that flow moving again. I send something good, look for more good, and as I do, I change!
  I change! The circumstances don't change. I do. After a little while, without trying to feel better, thinking only of adding to the lives of others, I begin to feel better. I can wash my face, eat something, rest, etc. Often I find myself laughing. I have to get me out of my own needs, and see what I can do for others.
   The feeling of usefulness, happiness and even joy returns. Regardless of the circumstances, I get a sense of , all is right with the world, everything is OK in this moment, I'm safe, and there is once again hope.
   I am a serious advocate of pure silliness! This stuff is the work of masters, and I make my best attempts. Silly has a way of soothing the most heavy of post-meltdown states for me, and I highly recommend it. More than anything, tender care followed by giving to others and coming out with silly, has been the most healing of acts to me.
   Importantly, I can't just jump from meltdown to silly. It doesn't work that way. I've got to feel it all, be of service somehow, then my lighthearted spirit returns. It is worth the work every time.
  Though hair styling may seem to have nothing to do with this post, here is the joyous silly that came out of this meltdown. Nothing so much heals pain for me, as a good laugh at myself.  It's a gift to help you find a smile, if you're down, and it helps me return to myself. Hope you get a laugh...
tina jones
Pin Up Curls No Heat (Speed Humor)


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

My Study of Relationship Compatability

(Written well over two years ago. As I study others, so do I learn about myself.)
Ten Questions:
Me and my Sweetheart
    It has been brought to my attention that I share little of my real self online. Disquieting as I thought the remark, I found it upon self searching to be infallibly true. I’m a natural people watcher, but myself out of balance in that I have not been as open as most of you try to be with me. That is the basis for the ten questions I posted. These are the most important factors of compatability to ME in relationships of all kinds. I enjoy the numbers on various compatibility scales, but felt they were missing components that were key to me personally.
 I’m only an authority on me.
 I’m reposting the questions here along with the percentages providing not only my own answers but why they are important to me. There was no right or wrong answer. This was all about my own priorities and how they relate to the priorities of other people. It’s also about narrowing the spectrum of compatibility in friendships and relationships of all kinds. The names of participants will have been deleted by the time I post this in my blog. My main focus was not the individuals who posted, rather it was finding what percent of the population shared the idea of an ideal friend or mate with me.  In some cases it was large, and in many it was small. It turns out, I’m a fairly hard match, but I already knew that.
   While compatibility scales are fun and informative, I’ve found that without these factors, I can have a very high percentage of compatibility (according to some questions) and not be able to connect even on the basis of friendship, while at other times I’ve connected with people who showed a very low compatibility percentage to me. Indeed one of my best friends online is only 80% compatible. Still others I’m able to connect with beautifully, but only on some aspects, leaving other important aspects of myself with the need to communicate with others to share. It would be nice to share one’s “all” with one individual, but I don’t think we are designed to rely totally on one friendship, rather we are designed to be involved in a community with one person being foremost in our interactions…a soulmate? I don’t know, but I like to imagine. No one by the way checked 100% of the answers that I did. That may or may not matter.
   I think the key is willingness of two people to set some differences aside while maintaining, respecting and encouraging the integrity of the individual. Keep in mind that whether we appear to match or not, the proof is in the actual interaction. Numbers are not going to do it. Differences, I might add can be very enjoyable.
    For each of us determining what is most important and matching those things to another is something worth consideration. Similar activities, for instance is not at the top of my list, but if it’s on yours, be true to it. We could have over 90% in common, but if your looking for someone who is into the great outdoors, loves motorcycle riding and fishing, chances are you’re not looking for someone like me. On the other hand, if you’re into quiet evenings, art museums and discussions of hope for humanity, I’m your friend right off.  It all depends on what a person is looking for, and this is only to cover activities.
  (A good sign that we might be compatible is if you’ve read the above by the way. Smiles. If patience is not your forte, I’m going to get on your nerves.)
The questions and their results
1.
tina Which is more important?

Similar Goals
4%
Similar Beliefs
25%
Similar Sexual Preferences
8%
Similar Outlook
33%
Similar Political Views
0%
Similar Interests/Hobbies
17%
Similar Intelligence
13%

Most important to me is “Similar Outlook. “ I have this in common with 33% of the people that answered. I need people in my life who view others and the world as I do. For me that is in the eyes of beauty and with compassion. If what you see is primarly unattractive out there, then we probably won’t be able to get far in our communications. I’m one to point out the colors of a sunset and the lovely wrinkles I see on an elderly person’s long smiling face. If you can see or are willing to see these, we’d get along fine. It was curious to me that with all the talk of politics, not a soul answered “Similar Political Views.” I have to wonder if they apply to love.  I’m unsure how much, but it appears many don’t give it much weight in relationships. I wouldn’t either.

2.
tina The World Is Becomming......

Better
24%
Worse
76%
My view is that the world is becoming “Better.” This relates to the first question. I consciously seek out positive acts of people and do my best to contribute to those. I’m a firm believer that we perceive or find precisely what we focus on, and my focus is on the positive. Here, I share this with only 24% of those who answered.
.
3.
tina You see a couple kissing and think...

Free show!
0%
Get a room!
4%
When will I be loved?
4%
He's going to get laid.
0%
I wish it were me instead of him.
8%
It's nice to see people in love.
84%
What does she want?
0%

I see a couple kissing and think…..”It’s nice to see people in love.” Truthfully each of these answers has gone through my mind at one time or another, but when I am as usual in a mood to see beauty, I am pleased to see others caring for eachother be it kissing or a simple smile. Personally, I’m not one to show much affection publicly beyond holding hands or a kiss on the cheek. I’m always in mind of respect, but am open to the nature of the person I’m with as well.  I have this in common with a great, 84%!


4.
tina Can another person ruin your day?

Yes. It happens occasionally.
67%
No. It's not possible.
17%
Yes.It happens all of the time.
11%
No, I don't let myself get close enough for that.
6%

Can another person ruin your day? “No. It’s not possible” That’s for me though. Ten minutes of a rough time in any given day does not merit me handing my whole day over to whatever got to me. My time is too precious, and I refuse to let anything have that much control over my emotional state. I can’t afford the loss of a day over a bad carburetor or an unfriendly word. Other people are where they are, and I may have nothing to do with how they acted. I’m not in their shoes. I leave the moods of others to them rather than blaming them or myself.  This way, if I am needed, I can be supportive. If I’ve decided to allow them to ruin my day, then I’m useless to them. I share this with only 17%.

5.
tina I use my car horn....

About once a week.
6%
About once a month.
3%
To let other drivers know when they've messed up
24%
Only in emergencies.
21%
To say "Hi."
15%
Daily
6%
What horn?
24%

I use my car horn “What Horn?” for me. I share this with 24%. Here I was looking at what percentage of people feel it a responsibility to correct others. Chances are, they’d also feel responsible to correct me, and right or wrong, I don’t take well to that. I’m open  to the opinions of others, and I need people who are open to mine as well. I was also looking for possibilities of road rage, as I don’t get in vehicles with those who do that. If your mad at driver number 3, talking bad about them, and I’m the one in the seat beside you, I’m the one that has to hear it. I enjoy peace too much for that. To me a drive is to have a good time, not to critique others. I don’t like loud noises either, but “only in emergencies” and “to say hi” would probably be compatible with me as well. (I realize that professional drivers need use horns more, but work  is a separate-from-me issue) Realistically speaking, I’ve probably used my car horn three times in the 29 years that I’ve been driving to warn a deer or dog out of the way.

6.
tina I'll be happy when...

When I find the love of my life.
37%
When my children graduate/move out/start school.
0%
I am happy.
48%
When the economy gets better.
4%
when I achieve my work/school goals.
4%
My medication makes me happy.
4%
I'm not happy, but I'm ok.
4%

I’ll be happy when…. “I am happy.” I share this with a heartening 48% of you! Smiles. Happy people attract happy people. I believe as many that another person or circumstance cannot “Make” me happy. It’s an inside job, and once happy I can share happiness with another.


7.
tina I want someone

play with/do things with
14%
make me happy
4%
whom I could make happy
4%
to share life's struggles with.
18%
who is as happy as I am.
18%
who understands me.
32%
who makes sense.
11%
Relating to the previous question, I want someone “Who is as happy as I am.” If I can add to your happiness and you can add to mine, then we are likely compatible. I can’t save anyone from sorrow or loneliness. Those things, though sad and most worth my compassion, are not something I’m capable of healing. I can only share what I have inside of me, and if that were sorrow or a sense of impending doom that’s not something I think you’d want. I work at my own happiness by focusing on things to be grateful for, and looking for ways to be helpful to others. It’s difficult not to see beauty when I do these things. I share this with only 18% of you.

8.
tina The woman you're with ends your relationship. She asked that you do/or not do a thing, yet you've continued it. You think:

What a drama queen
0%
She must have had someone else.
14%
I will never understand women.
14%
She never loved me.
14%
Good riddance!
14%
I wish I'd have taken her request to heart.
43%
I probably wasn't good enough for her.
0%

The woman you're with ends your relationship. She asked that you do/or not do a thing, yet you've continued it. You think: “I wish I’d have taken her (his in my case) request to heart.” I know myself and the mistakes I’ve made. There have been times when I didn’t listen as well as I wish I had, and wished I’d have paid more attention. I’m always one to look at myself for possible errors before looking at others. “Blame” is not a useful word in my vocabulary. I can’t change others, I can only change my own actions.  I share this with 43% of you.

9.
tina She's a giver/always doing something for someone and has put you off or stood you up repeatedly. You've asked her not to, but she continues

You think: I'm just being too dramatic/sensitive
17%
I have someone else anyway.
0%
She will never understand me.
17%
I never loved her anyway
0%
She's better off without me.
22%
I wish she'd take my request to heart.
39%
She wasn't good enough for me.
4%

This question was a repeat of question #8 only reversed. My answer remains the same. It’s about listening both ways to me, so it was, “I wish she’d (he’d in my case) taken my request to heart.” I did find it curious that a few indicated they’d think she’d have someone else, yet no one checked that they’d have someone else.  I believe we see the world through our own eyes, meaning I can only project onto you what is inside of me. I.e.….if I’m very jealous, I am at least in my mind looking at other possibilities if not pursuing them.  (I’m not a jealous person by the way,  and all of my answers only pertain to me…an opinion) This time I matched 39%.

10.
tina To you, most people are

Blind
6%
scared
3%
good hearted
42%
bad hearted
3%
selfish
16%
closed minded
19%
lonely
10%

To you, most people are “Good Hearted.” Again, I project what is in me out onto what I see in others. If I were someone who thought most people were “closed minded,” chances are I’d be working awfully hard at trying to get them to see things “my way,” or what I perceive is the “right way.” I don’t tolerate attempts of others who’d try to change, fix, save or adjust me and would not want to change another. We all want to be accepted for who we are. I’m also not one to get lonely or bored. I’m self entertaining, and would need a friend or mate to be able to amuse themselves too, so while I’m not into sports, you might be perfect for me if you are, because your football/golf  time may be just what I need to paint and do my writing and research. I won’t be attending games as I don’t care for crowds though, and do use headphones if you like your tv games loud. (Aren’t I just awful? Grins!)
That’s the end of the questions. Thankyou again to all who participated.
Chemistry: Always in mind for me is that despite percentages something happens when it’s just right that is beyond my  reasoning, and that’s hard on a person like me who loves logic. (humor). I do have a an ego, but I can set it aside.
  A few last perhaps important aspects of me are that I am a recent cancer survivor (yeah!) (what kind? Same stuff that Farrah Faucett had. Look it up.) and that I am (if you’ve not figured it out yet) a female version of “Rainman.” I have high functioning autism, his was low functioning. No, I don’t memorize long series of numbers that is another member of my family. I see three dimensional objects and people in two dimensional puzzle pieces. That’s why I can paint. I’m not trained. It’s just the way I am. I don't do well in bright sun or heat for long and am seriously considering belly dance lessons having practiced by video tutorial on my own for some time. It's exercise for someone isn't into sweating like me, and it's just fun. I am multifaceted, as are you.
 More than the blonde,  lady in the red dress who enjoys making others laugh (smiling here), I’m challenging, independent, opinionated, logic (not opinion) oriented and  a dreamer. Seeing me in a new light, I hope will offer others the self-permission to take more realistic views of precisely what they want, and the determination to be choosey about it. I more than realize that having stated my own thoughts will color me a non-option among some, but that will only point them to happier possibilities of better compatibility.
Wishing all of your dreams come true. Your desires and needs in relationships are part of who you are, sacred to me, and deserving of the best match for you.
tina

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Autism: When Families Become Sick


  • This was my response to what is to me the best Autism Blog on the internet. ThAutcast. My comments had enough good response, that I thought it might merit being put in a blog  http://thautcast.com/drupal5/content/whats-wrong-sentence-autism-science-foundation-edition

    Following, I'm writing on the problem I see with organizations  that prey on the fears of parents. I also write of some of my early experiences, and wish to relay hope.
    They've (Autism Speaks and any organization that does not directly help Autistic people and their families.) made a business that relies on codependency, and they foster it. If they treated the problem, they'd go out of business. I hope one day parents will develop an Alanon-like program that gets honest about where responsibilities for feelings are. "I am the problem at my house," rather than, "I can only be happy if/when they or it changes, exactly like those in other 12 step programs have had to do to save their lives It has nothing to do with Autistic people. Some days the only difference I see in Charles Manson and some of these people is in their housing (I'm speaking of those who have murdered their children in the last few years.)

    Let's say I presented to an ER with a broken leg, so the Doctor does research on my NT daughter to figure out why her hair is the color it is, hoping to make me feel better. They may raise funds showing my broken leg to get dollars for researching why my daughter is not changing her hair color so my broken leg will be ok. They might even put her through strange if not dangerous therapies for it. Why they don't treat the person presenting with the problem baffles me. Autistics aren't showing up with a problem in these places. It's the distressed parents. Altering the child, is not going to cure the parent.
    . No happiness is dependent on people, places or things including Autism. Until that idea is embraced, parents will remain slaves to not only the fallacy that their happiness depends on the Autistic person (who has their own problems and can't fix their parent's), but it is also dependent on this organization. Autism Speaks is the dealer, and the hold they have on some parents is addiction. Unlike a drug that can be taken away, a belief is much harder to free a person from. Some will fight to hold on to it up to the point of death, as we see report after report. Pride and fear rule, as with any addiction, and Autism Speaks magnifies these for profit. Nice for a "non profit organization." 
       We can blame organizations if we want, we can blame Autistic people if we want, (and I'm one too), but no problem I've ever faced since being an adult has been the result of anyone's thinking but my own.

    I put myself through that hell 20 years ago, I was that codependant, and I've spent the last 20 years making ammends to my children for being a mom that could not see that, "happiness was an inside job," that neither they nor anyone else needed to change, but I did, desperately. I was likely as sick as any parent is today, and it was not until I let go of the ideas of perfection and the ideas that my children had to be a certain way for me to be happy, that I began to heal. The sadness is there is no getting through, until that parent hits bottom, and unfortunately, the child and sometimes the parent is often dead before they do.

    I wasted so much time, and drug my children along with me on that self-inflicted sorrow, that I could not see the beautiy of what was right in front of me, and I robbed my children of a happy mom. It was not until I let go, that I could begin to breathe, begin to let them teach me that life was amazing, that Autism could be a beautiful adventure, and that it was ok for me to cry sometimes, laugh sometimes and just sit and stare at a trail of ants and relax, right in the middle of what seemed like the whole world's disapproval, that I became free. I want that freedom, and love for so many suffering parents and children out there. I wish I could reach in my chest and put it in theirs, but I can't. I listen to them rage at me and others just like I did. I watch them deteriorate just like I did, and I watch them fight just like I did, hoping beyond hope, because if someone like me can grow, then it's possible for anyone.
      Here is a blog I wrote earlier called, "Being The Help We Seek." In it are some links to resources.
     http://tinajonesart.blogspot.com/2011/08/being-help-we-seek-for-caregivers-and.html
    tina jones

Thursday, April 12, 2012

HUMOR: Autism: Ongoing Understanding of Neurotypicals (Eyeballs)

  It's not men in particular. Women do it too, and I had an awkward eyeballing from a lady today at a department store. The usual, she leaned in to try to get into my direct line of vision, and having gone through this a few days earlier, I caved in exhaustion. I looked at her, dead on without so much as protective sunglasses. She started to speak oddly smiling in a overtly friendly sort of way, or it may have been she knew a better brand of peanut butter than I had, but I was saved by the cashier announcing my total. I paid and left.
     
    On to the "fairer sex." I'd gone to the grocery store a few days ago with a few items of sensible need in mind. As usual, this is a hunt, procure, pay and go home mission for me, where my only hope is to get the groceries. There truly is no other motive in mind. I'm not kidding. I actually just want groceries, but there's a price to paid, and if it were mere dollars, it would be so much simpler.
    One who wishes to attain cheese, a few vegetables and maybe chewing gum when I'm feeling brave, must interact with (even if that interaction is avoiding) people. It's work, and days come when I don't know if Dentyne and Rutabagas are worth it. Many days they aren't. Still, time comes to go. Forge ahead no matter the gauntlet of sudden touch-ers, pretend smilers and people who need to talk about growing grass. (I still haven't figured that out.)
  A gauntlet, which I often forget about, until I'm in the store, is always there. I don't know why they shop on the same days, same times I do. I go at different times, and it's always different people. One never knows when there will be a sudden need for tomatoes, but these needs arise, and meet the challenge, I do.
   I got out of the car, lamenting once again, the list I made and forgot to bring. To my task, I headed in the breezeway door, aiming for the shopping carts, six rows going from my left to far left. Row 1: Had garbage in it. Garbage appeared to be a used tissue and a plastic stick of some sort. Decision made! I immediately look to Row 2: Clean cart! I aimed myself toward it when.....



    I noticed that two men were in front of me. I noticed this, because while checking the carts, my peripheral vision was in overdrive, and one of the two might have hit a wall, he was so busy looking backwards. I was cart-focused! I didn't have time for that, and I had food that needed me to get it! Mostly, I noticed them, because he pulled the cart from Row 1 without looking at it to offer it to me, and nearly hit me with it.
   I was diverted! I didn't want the used tissue cart. I was in a predicament. You see, I don't care much what people think about me, but I do care about hurting people's feelings. I still hadn't made direct eye contact. (I needed that strength to get my groceries, and I hadn't even gotten in the door yet.),  Mr. Chivalrous was handing me the booger tissue cart, and I didn't know what to do!
   Fast I could, I grabbed the cart he had, because it was in my way, and I said, "Thank you. That's very kind!" and I ran into the store, fleeing to the rutabagas, toting my used tissue cart. Breathing, I consigned myself to only using the small upper section for what little I needed, leaving the offending tissue in place.
   Peripheral vision can be such a pain, and I'm not just talking about the used tissue I pushed around the store with me! I thought I'd lost him, or them, but no. It wasn't seconds after I'd sorted the Sharp Cheddar, that I turned and there was Prince Valiant in Flannel, leaning heavily into my line of site. He didn't realize obviously that everything is in my line of sight, and he was trying to make eye contact! Didn't I already mention I didn't have the energy for that? He leaned in, oncoming from my left, and I leaned right with my pupils. He still in full view, did not in fact, make eye contact, and I escaped the intrusion! Yay!
   I made it to the checkout lanes, and yes, there he rounded approaching right. I should get store discounts for having to work this hard! Finally, I say Finally, he seemed to have responded to what I would call my obvious cues of, "I just want some vegetables!!! " and he pulled his cart back away from me, and moved into the next lane. Fortunately, his lane was behind me as I paid my cashier, so none of that leaning stuff continued.
   With men, I have to be careful. Looking at them dead on does one of two things. One of them, is scaring them. The other too often involves divorce attorneys.

tina jones

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Artists: Care of our Most Important Tools: Our Hands

  I love my brushes! Care for them takes time and diligence. Between paintings, I scrape my palette, clean my paint tube caps. I change my turpentine, and occasionally, I even clean my glasses! hehe.
  What about the tools we use more than any others as artists? No matter the task, most of us are using our hands, and they do a lot more than painting or sketching. In and out of dish water, cooking, laundry, housekeeping and sometimes gardening, they can suffer a lot of abuse. Add to that, many like me suffer from arthritis. My hands get cold and stiff when painting, and sometimes I have to remove the brush from my hand with my other hand when joints don't move easily.
   We care for families, nurture fellow artists and friends, and for me time is well spent, between paintings taking care of myself.
   Originally, I made this two part video simply to show how I do a manicure including exfoliating and hand massage. I looked then at my new blank canvas, and thought of my artist friends, and wondered how many of you had been good to yourselves today.
   Most of you have been so good to me, and I know you know how to be tender, because you've nurtured me. smiles. So, if for no other reason than to remind you that you're important too, here's the second part of my manicure videos showing a little self love. smiles. Take care of those hands. I need you to keep creating!
with love,
tina jones
Here's a link to Part 1, and the video below goes directly to Part 2: Exfoliating and Massage (The best part!)


Monday, April 9, 2012

Propaganda of Autism

I'd like you to imagine you live in a world of adults only. That's right, you somehow appeared as an adult, and you've never seen a child. There are only adults everywhere you look, and you are thinking about having a child, so you look for information, like words, photos, anything, but all you find is this portrayal of a screaming child having a fit in a grocery store.





That's right. That is your ONLY information about a normal child. It's true information. We've all seen kids go through this. We've been exhausted while other people offered dubiously helpful stares or inconsiderate advice, and a large number of us have been mildly to severely nuts over it at times. Raising children takes 110% of whatever you've got, and it's hard, rewarding, crazy, miraculous and everything in between.
  Imagine now, that this being your only information a company with, lets say blue shamrocks keeps putting out this sorry lack of information, negative with no positives, no hope of anything but this screaming, miserable kid, with desperate parents, mid breakdowns wanting help. This company then asks you for money to cure this acting out, and even prevent it. That's right, they want to do prenatal testing to keep these normal kids from being born. After all who wants the embarrassment and work right? The kids must be miserable if everyone is looking, right? So you and several others with big hearts send money for research, meanwhile desperate parents are still desperate, but hey! It might keep someone else from suffering the terrible two's! We must eradicate this! We HATE terrible twos, right? At that age they are so self absorbed, feelings always on the surface, and they don't know how to handle them, so if we get rid of whatever CAUSES terrible two's, the world will be a happier place, and the human race will be more pure. Uh oh....sound sorta...shhh (Nazi?) No, of course not, it's just that they don't have  "lives worth living." It's a matter of human dignity, Right?
  Ok, so that's a farce. Silly, I mean it's just a child going through a phase. Some kids move through it pretty quick, and others take longer. Take Autistic kids for instance. This stage can last quite a while, and it's hard on parents and the kids. Most people forget the kids are having a rough time, and it's not candy they cry over. More often it's too much noise or the flickering lights in grocery stores, but they do scream, maybe more often than the next "normal" kid, maybe not. That depends on the individual. I screamed, banged my head, chewed my tongue; still have a gnaw at it when I've a mind to.
   Yes, of course I have my positives, but considering the video you saw is likely the ONLY kind most people have seen on Autism, surely I should be euthanized. I must be miserable, right? Guess again.
   The only time I really get bent out of shape is when I realize that most people are uninformed or getting their information from people who push the lie that Autistic people are either screaming in the floor or acting like Rainman quoting dates or phonebooks or whatever. It's not your fault, and that is why people like me write, to hopefully give some kind of indication about the realities of Autism. It's tough, it's stressful, it's rewarding, it's beautiful, amazing....EVERYTHING your life is.
   People who only get screaming child information, then have a child who is Autistic, have No information that would lead to any reason for hope of things ever getting better. There have been more homicides of Autistic children often followed by suicides of their parents in the last few years than I can count, largely due to the lack of realistic hope. Yes, I said, "Realistic Hope." Who's is responsible for this misinformation? Think about it...Who stands to gain from it?
   Keep the children. Get rid of the terrorism tactics. From a woman with Asperger's who is the Mom of a severely autistic son, who saw him grow up, and become the beautiful human being he has always been, even when people in grocery stores doubted.  FOR: All of the Mom's and Dad's out there too busy loving their children, Autistic or not, to put up with any more bull.
tina jones 
"Don't Throw the Baby Out With the Propaganda" 11x14" Oil on Canvas