Fish Gummies and Hair Chewing: Ongoing Understanding of Neurotypicals

I'd like to thank the little girl with the face for making my shopping easier. It always goes well, until I have to stand in line....with...the people. Her mother had gotten everything. No, you didn't hear me. "EVERYTHING." She was about 3, I think. I never know, and she had obviously learned that smiling at people makes them smile back. She did it, and I looked away, because I just learned this last week, and I didn't want to practice. She wouldn't stop it, so finally, I caved and showed her my canines as politely as possible. Her eyes glittered. Wicked, how they do that, and at that moment, I smiled genuinely.

    I  learned peek-a-boo from my own daughter decades ago. Knowing that game pretty well, I gave it a shot, and she mimicked me, kicked her feet in the grocery seat where she was secured not too well and giggled. I asked if she was helping her mother, and she nodded, turned and got a can to assist her Mom in putting the groceries on the belt. She dropped it in the floor, so I retrieved it and handed it to her. She smiled more.

    She pushed her hair back, so I asked if hers often got in her face. She nodded, and I said, "Mine bugs me too sometimes." I smacked my hair back with both hands, and we spent several second smacking our hair. She stroked one side, and I told her I could make two tails, held my hair with both hands to demonstrate. I think she was impressed, but she insisted only one was the way to go, so I complied and did just the one side, not all of the hair, as she demonstrated, just part of it. She seemed to know what she was doing.

    She was barefoot, but I hadn't noticed when her mom asked where her shoes were, and went about emptying her cart anyway, little toes going everywhere, weaving happily in and out of the cart bars. I'm bendy, so it wasn't a concern, and I was surprised when another lady decided to alarm the child by telling her that her foot was stuck, and Mom might break it off when she tried to lift her from the cart, further, she should tell her mother, she was stuck.

     Of course she wasn't. The smile was gone, her lower lip began to swell, and her head turned down. I'd spotted some fish oil gummies (chewable candy supplements), and thought to hand them to the cranky lady, but I resisted. The little girl slid her foot out, easy as could be to comply, joy gone.
    The lady went on, having taken a dull adult position, to tell the child that she had children in college, as if that was going to have any meaning for the girl, and the little girl nodded solemnly, trying to interact as best she could to the stern voice. I told the lady, she was contemplating her words, at which point the lady (finally) laughed.

     The little girl smiled again, and we went back to demonstrating hair styling tips (which I followed as best I could), and how to properly entangle the toes in cart bars. I had to part her company when another aisle came open, though I was as always cut off by someone more adult that I am. <cough> and I didn't see her for a minute.

      Her mom paid and pushed the cart forward, and she peek-a-boo'd at me, while chewing her hair, so I chewed mine too, then she looked sad, and lifted her foot to show me her shoe was on, and she tried, but couldn't put her shoe'd foot through the small bars that had fit so well without them. I felt sad too.

      I hope the rest of your day didn't have to have shoes, little girl, and thanks for showing me that only part of the hair makes a fine ponytail on one side, and that it's pretty tasty really, if not just a good thing to do while waiting in a grocery line. I hope you smile more today. People need it more than they may know.

    With love, another (sometimes) little girl who doesn't like shoes either. Thank you! (and Sweetheart, feed those cranky sorts Fish Oil Gummies. Winks!)

tina jones

I Believe in RED

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”

                                                                                               Audrey Hepburn

Probably one of the sweetest quotes I see fairly often, and read it always with a smile. There's an elegance and innocense to her in words and visage that becons the "girl" in most all of us. 

  I can't help, when seeing these words, reflecting on what "I believe," and if it might have any use to others in their own self searches.

  I figure I might as well give it a go! :)

Ahem..Is this thing on?  Testing, one, two...and

   I believe in RED, Pink was o.k. when I was two, but I want a color that, by God, will commit to being a color. Stand up and say, "I am Red! Deal with it!" I believe that if I've stopped laughing for any calculable length of time, someone needs to hit me with cardiac paddles or toss dirt on me. I believe in kissing. I believe in kissing here, here, here, and here and here too. I believe that the strongest people are those who fall apart on a regular basis. I believe that happiness is about being true to ourselves, and if that means lipstick or sweating in a garden, working at a factory, nursing a child, teaching the deeper meaning of haiku, or pole dancing, you are probably absolutely beautiful doing it!. 

  I believe in passion. I believe that potatoes, pasta and rice were invented by people to cunningly take up space on my plate where bacon is meant to be. I believe in one inch thick steaks without trimming the fat, and I believe in salad mostly so people don't yell at me. I believe I'd better plan for tomorrow, but live here and now, and now I'd like Sam Elliot to be here. I need a cook. 

    I believe there are secrets in dandelion fluff. I believe that amazing paintings are waiting in paint tubes, but they are not going to squirt themselves out on to a canvas. I believe in cutting the elastic tops off of over-sized sweat socks, so they slouch properly. I believe the best part of the day is that thirty minute stretch thing to find the right spot that I have to do when I climb into bed at night. I believe that mustard and pickles should be a food group.  I believe that the sky shows off every evening in colors just to make me envious enough to dream of painting them. I believe in cheese. 

     I believe Robin Williams is probably the best lay on the planet. I believe in wearing big skirts and spinning around to watch them become aloft. I believe there is music in the stars, and that it's blasphemy not to dance to it. I believe in feeling the artist's being in a clay bowl that I can hold. I believe sometimes when I don't know what to do, my spirit leaps from my body to silently tell some gloriously wrinkled and tired woman or the man that pushes his back to feed his children, "You are beautiful!" I believe when I put my fingers in running water, it should always be with reverence, and the water enjoys touching me. i believe in never using hair spray, lest I miss the combing of a breeze.

     I believe in cruise control and loud music in the car, and singing poorly. I believe the sound of whale's song is beautiful but nothing compares the sounds of my children and grandchildren. I believe in acting sillier than my grandchildren. I believe that, because that's not too much of a challenge, it must mean I'm gifted!
 I believe sometimes cookies and pickles make a great breakfast. I believe it's simply better to love, and you don't have to wait for a person or circumstance to do it. You're already right there waiting to be loved by you. I believe, "Witch Hazel" is a funny thing to say. I believe cursing is necessary to maintain the dignity of a conversation at times. Knowing those times is a challenge. I believe that everything and everyone I see is mine and part of me, and loving you taught me how to love me. 

Finally, I believe in knowing when to stop. I just haven't learned it yet.

tina jones

Silliness: The Best Pain Reliever I Know

If I have any talent, it's that of putting carts before horses.
I always thought I had to feel good to do anything good, but I realized (through the patience of dear friends) that if I did it, I might come to feel it.
 Feeling good became the result of action.
The last few days have been difficult for me. I had worried myself into a full blown meltdown. The knowledge that worry has never accomplished a thing for me, hasn't stopped me from indulging in it, as often as I wish it would. Fortunately, through years of practice in taking care of myself, not trying to please others, meltdowns don't happen but a few times a year for me now. This was, at one time, a daily occurrence, then weekly, monthly, etc.
  Meltdowns: For me that means a shutting down of emotions, followed by a near fetal crying bout, and a general sense of doom. It happens. I had gotten so deep in to other people's problems, put on my Joan of Arc suit, and mentally beat myself up with it.
 Fortunately, there are surrenders beyond surrender. For me, I can't stuff the feelings. Feelings are patient things. They will wait for me, and come out at the most inopportune times!
 What works for me: I let it happen. I get down in it, crawl in it, roll around in it, and get it done and over with. I don't cry, I bawl, I shake, I feel every last bit of it, because I've no mind to save that stuff up for later. Today's leftover emotion will seep into tomorrow, if I don't feel it now. Once my eyes are sufficiently puffy, nose blown and breathing again, I get to work! Work, means being gentle with myself, and taking steps to get back to balance.
  I used to believe that other people made me happy or unhappy. (Yet another instance of cart before horse) The truth is that when I take care of me, get myself in a happy place, I attract happy people. They can add to it, but they can not "make" me happy. They can't take it away either. I am responsible for me, and when I remember that, all sorts of wonderful things happen.
  Some of the things I may do privately are play a game, sing poorly, shower,  take a nap, move to another room, clean a room, mess up a room, dance poorly (I'm a natural)......anything to shift my track. Some of the things I do involving others, are to listen to music that makes me feel good, paint something even badly,..... yes right in the middle of not feeling good. I find something, anything that I think someone, anyone else might enjoy, and I send it to them. It doesn't matter who it is. When I am that down, I've become internally stagnant and stuck. Those emotions are sitting there like pond water, and my task is to get that flow moving again. I send something good, look for more good, and as I do, I change!
  I change! The circumstances don't change. I do. After a little while, without trying to feel better, thinking only of adding to the lives of others, I begin to feel better. I can wash my face, eat something, rest, etc. Often I find myself laughing. I have to get me out of my own needs, and see what I can do for others.
   The feeling of usefulness, happiness and even joy returns. Regardless of the circumstances, I get a sense of , all is right with the world, everything is OK in this moment, I'm safe, and there is once again hope.
   I am a serious advocate of pure silliness! This stuff is the work of masters, and I make my best attempts. Silly has a way of soothing the most heavy of post-meltdown states for me, and I highly recommend it. More than anything, tender care followed by giving to others and coming out with silly, has been the most healing of acts to me.
   Importantly, I can't just jump from meltdown to silly. It doesn't work that way. I've got to feel it all, be of service somehow, then my lighthearted spirit returns. It is worth the work every time.
  Though hair styling may seem to have nothing to do with this post, here is the joyous silly that came out of this meltdown. Nothing so much heals pain for me, as a good laugh at myself.  It's a gift to help you find a smile, if you're down, and it helps me return to myself. Hope you get a laugh...
tina jones
Pin Up Curls No Heat (Speed Humor)

The Wisdom of Children

   Children, suffer those who say, "Yes, I knew it all at that age too." Chances are, they never grew out of it.  We adults and elders who would teach you what we have forgotten, and what you and all of us were born knowing, are still learning and relearning. Be patient with us, because we fear you'll make our mistakes and feel our pain. We once knew too of simple things that mattered just like you. We once knew love, forgiveness, trust and the practice of joy.

   We lived, and in our striving for things that never mattered, we forgot.   What we recognize as wise, we look for in elders and don't alway see it in children. We admire the aged sage who knows of sharing, care, forgiveness, love, laughter, and play. Those who've learned to smile back at daiseys and dance to sunsets that you embrace so easily are our wise ones. Forgive us our blindness if we don't see it you. In this way you'll teach us to forgive. So if you can, be patient with us when we try to teach, so you might teach us that what mattered all along was Love.
  Thankyou for letting me be the student, even when I don't see you doing it.
tina jones


"September's Embers"
30x40"
Oil on Canvas
A Photo Montage of this painting's progress may be seen here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7PYmohs7us