Fish Gummies and Hair Chewing: Ongoing Understanding of Neurotypicals

I'd like to thank the little girl with the face for making my shopping easier. It always goes well, until I have to stand in line....with...the people. Her mother had gotten everything. No, you didn't hear me. "EVERYTHING." She was about 3, I think. I never know, and she had obviously learned that smiling at people makes them smile back. She did it, and I looked away, because I just learned this last week, and I didn't want to practice. She wouldn't stop it, so finally, I caved and showed her my canines as politely as possible. Her eyes glittered. Wicked, how they do that, and at that moment, I smiled genuinely.

    I  learned peek-a-boo from my own daughter decades ago. Knowing that game pretty well, I gave it a shot, and she mimicked me, kicked her feet in the grocery seat where she was secured not too well and giggled. I asked if she was helping her mother, and she nodded, turned and got a can to assist her Mom in putting the groceries on the belt. She dropped it in the floor, so I retrieved it and handed it to her. She smiled more.

    She pushed her hair back, so I asked if hers often got in her face. She nodded, and I said, "Mine bugs me too sometimes." I smacked my hair back with both hands, and we spent several second smacking our hair. She stroked one side, and I told her I could make two tails, held my hair with both hands to demonstrate. I think she was impressed, but she insisted only one was the way to go, so I complied and did just the one side, not all of the hair, as she demonstrated, just part of it. She seemed to know what she was doing.

    She was barefoot, but I hadn't noticed when her mom asked where her shoes were, and went about emptying her cart anyway, little toes going everywhere, weaving happily in and out of the cart bars. I'm bendy, so it wasn't a concern, and I was surprised when another lady decided to alarm the child by telling her that her foot was stuck, and Mom might break it off when she tried to lift her from the cart, further, she should tell her mother, she was stuck.

     Of course she wasn't. The smile was gone, her lower lip began to swell, and her head turned down. I'd spotted some fish oil gummies (chewable candy supplements), and thought to hand them to the cranky lady, but I resisted. The little girl slid her foot out, easy as could be to comply, joy gone.
    The lady went on, having taken a dull adult position, to tell the child that she had children in college, as if that was going to have any meaning for the girl, and the little girl nodded solemnly, trying to interact as best she could to the stern voice. I told the lady, she was contemplating her words, at which point the lady (finally) laughed.

     The little girl smiled again, and we went back to demonstrating hair styling tips (which I followed as best I could), and how to properly entangle the toes in cart bars. I had to part her company when another aisle came open, though I was as always cut off by someone more adult that I am. <cough> and I didn't see her for a minute.

      Her mom paid and pushed the cart forward, and she peek-a-boo'd at me, while chewing her hair, so I chewed mine too, then she looked sad, and lifted her foot to show me her shoe was on, and she tried, but couldn't put her shoe'd foot through the small bars that had fit so well without them. I felt sad too.

      I hope the rest of your day didn't have to have shoes, little girl, and thanks for showing me that only part of the hair makes a fine ponytail on one side, and that it's pretty tasty really, if not just a good thing to do while waiting in a grocery line. I hope you smile more today. People need it more than they may know.

    With love, another (sometimes) little girl who doesn't like shoes either. Thank you! (and Sweetheart, feed those cranky sorts Fish Oil Gummies. Winks!)

tina jones

One third of the people

I've heard that one third of the people are going to love you no matter what you do.
One third of them are going to dislike you no matter what you do,
And one third of them aren't going to care one way or the other...no matter what you do.
 
  It leads me to believe that it's best for us to be ourselves. Trying to please isn't going to change the statistics..."no matter what you do."

  I've come to believe this to be true of art too. People like what they like. I think people are simply built for different likes, dislikes and apathy. I, for instance do not like sweet potatoes. No matter what you do to them, I'm not going to like them. It isn't personal, even if I were someone to whine at a sweet potatoe for not acting or tasting like I think it should, and even if I were to try to make the poor spud feel guilty about it. It's still going to be a sweet potatoe, and I still won't like it. I simply can't, because I'm in that one third (I'm not sure of the numbers in sweet potatoes) who is not going to like sweet potatoes.
   Rice cakes. I don't really care one way or the other. They're ok, but I don't have it in me to love or dislike them. In my world they simply exist, because I'm in that (theoretical) one third that doesn't have any passionate feeling about rice cakes.
   Strawberries, I love! I love them fresh, frozen even canned. I love them in pies, jam, dipped in cream, or plucked from the patch! I don't think I've met the strawberry I wasn't smitten with, and there is not a thing strawberries can do about that. I'm in the (imaginary) one third that loves strawberries with every fiber of my being. It's just the way I am, and has no bearing on strawberries whatsoever.
  All of this to say, it doesn't pay much to worry about who doesn't like you or doesn't notice. Chances are it's nothing to do with you and more about that person's hardwiring. I think time is best spent with those who like, love and care about us.
    I spent too much of my time thinking about those who didn't like me as a kid, and I neglected those who tried in every way possible to show me how much they cared. Those who loved me anyway were my precious one third who was going to love me no matter what I did. These are the ones I think of and devote my time to now. I am their strawberries, and they are mine.
   Those who are perpetually disappointed in you have their own things to deal with. Let them go with your loving blessing. Those who don't care one way or the other, keep your arms open that they may come or go, and those who love you no matter what, give of your time, thoughts and care. Let them know you appreciate them. If your busy with all of that love, you won't have time for worry about people that you don't really matter to. Surround yourself with love, and give it freely. Be strawberries! hehe.

Closeup Painted Chair Seat
Acrylic on Wood
Approx. 8x10"