I don't know if others realize this, but things happened before I was born. Really, they did.
There were parades and protests, people fell in love too. There were wars. Babies were born, and some people died. Buildings were built, and taken down. Books were written. Paintings were done. There were songs and pieces of music. Diseases happened. Cures happened. Sometimes people got treated badly. Sometimes there were breakthroughs, and they got accepted. Flowers grew. There were forest fires, hurricanes, and sunsets. Entire species came into being, and some went away. People had jobs, and some were looking for jobs. It rained. Lipstick and light bulbs were invented. Religions and exercise routines came into being, and some of them were even pretty good, sometimes, but not always. Nations formed and dissolved. Business contacts were made. Contracts were signed. Contracts were broken. Cherry pie was eaten. Squirrels chased each other around trees. Earth orbited the sun. Ocean waves ebbed and flowed. People sneezed. Couples held hands. Moms worried. Dad's played. People worked too hard. People played too much. Grandparents told stories. Socks got holes in them. Jokes were told. Hair grew. People gossiped. Someone helped someone else. Monkeys threw dung. Camels spit. Children made up rhymes. Crickets chirped. Fashions changed. One person fed another. Someone slept with someone that other people didn't approve of. Someone married someone they didn't want to. People cared. People didn't care. There were murders. Entire communities gathered together to raise a barn for only one person, just because.
All of this and more happened before I got here. I really don't think that when I'm gone much will be different. I also think that my being here now, is a matter of me playing one of the parts. Nothing is ever missing, and I'll get replaced, just as I replaced someone.
There is a certain relaxation to it for me. I'm not that important. Special, to some, sure, but none of these things were dependant on my arrival, and they wont stop, when I leave.
Somehow, I get the feeling that everything is right with this place, always has been and always will be.
I spent a great deal of my life in causes, in protestations, and trying fix things as I saw fit. Political wonder and Joan of Arc (in my mind), I was going to straighten out this planet, as if after all of this time, suddenly I appeared and was sent it to reform everything. No, I'm here for you.
I play a part, just like the rest of us and we create and re-create the balance that's always been.
For now, my part seems best as the nonjudgmental observer, open heart and arms. Sometimes I'm the hand holder, the painter, and now and then I affix myself to a cause. ha...
The world doesn't need me to fix it. It may not even need fixing. When I can step back, I think that maybe it's (we) are all in a process. Everything evolving, and in my short time here, it isn't likely I'm going to see much of it.
Mine is just to put the next stitch in the tapestry, and hopefully with some degree of humility, gratitude, even humor and joy.
We don't have much time, and I seriously doubt I'm here to save anyone from this evolution. I'm just part of the dance.
tina
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tinajonesart blog. Here, you'll find the thoughts of an artist, possibly some artwork, and most definately me.
Showing posts with label compassion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label compassion. Show all posts
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Hero
If you get out of bed one more day,
if you fail and discover one more way not to do it,
if your palms sweat and your heart races every time, yet you begin again,
if you fall apart on a regular basis and tremulously crawl to wash your face,
if you've been defeated a hundred times and given up just as many,
if you have despaired of ever knowing peace,
if you've found the flow or the right direction only in accidental moments,
if in your pain you've found solace somehow in helping another, and in the midst of watching the world you knew disintegrate, saw a bit of heaven in the eyes of those less fortunate,
if somehow all was right with the world even when all evidence said you were wrong, it was wrong, they were wrong,
if unreasonable hope ever bade you, "Breathe, and try again,"
if while not believing in yourself, you believed in another, and
if while helping right in the middle of your own helplessness you've found that you took even a single aim toward a single step without realizing,
You are a hero to me.
tina jones
Saturday, October 29, 2011
"Do Unto Others, Karma, What Comes around..." Children and Discipline
I don't have a problem with the idea of Corporal Punishment. In fact, I LIKE it..... as long as it's administered only to adults who hit children. Before anyone gets adamant about their right to discipline their children through inflicting pain to the body, remember it was not too long ago here in the United States that it was common "love" for women to be "disciplined" in this way. Here's a common advertisement from the 1950's, before women's rights took hold. http://feministing.com/2008/11/13/vintage_sexism_heinz_soup_or_a/
Ridiculous to most of us now, yet this is exactly how I grew up. I had to be in charge of all household duties from the age of nine, and if dinner or breakfast wasn't perfect, it got thrown at me, and I was beaten. This was "Normal" for the subculture of a home I lived in, and not too far divorced from the times. So you don't hit your kids "that" hard. How hard would you like to be hit if it were called for? Can you hear this? The question was not, "Would you like to be hit?" or "Would you prefer not to be hit?" It's, "How hard?" Does this sound ridiculous or even humorous? Let's keep going.
Most of us have heard of the concept of "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you." Most of us would agree with it, I think.
Most of us adults would probably agree that if someone was upset with us, we'd have the right not to be hit in any way, further that if anyone even tried there should be laws in place to protect us, and maybe even get the aggressor off the streets where they couldn't do that again.
We don't always extend these ideas to children. I'm shocked at the number of people who proudly talk of hitting kids, spanking, slapping or whatever you want to call it. It is a different area of the body, so maybe if we were out in public and someone was upset with you, it would be ok if they hit you, as long as it was "out of love" and on the right part of your body.
Let me understand if I can. It's ok if the person is smaller, weaker and of a certain age to spank/hit/slap (on the right body part/s) if you don't like what they are doing and if it's "out of love," right? And only if it's a child, or maybe it's still women or perhaps people of a different color?
I can't seem to think that way. What I can do is think ahead.
Most people don't think ahead, rather they go retro with spanking with statements like, "My mom/dad tore my backside up, and I turned out just fine!" (They are entitled to that opinion, ofcourse. I'm sure by how they talk, it was a lovely experience. I just can't seem to identify.) They use their past experience as a way to justify hitting/spanking/slapping (the right body part, ofcourse) children today. I can understand using one's experience.
I can see the logic, somewhat, but what if we apply, "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you?" That's right. Let's go *future* with this! Whatever you do to your kid today, expect them to do to you eventually. You may have a point. I'm getting on your side. This may work. I'm willing to have an open mind. Let's look at it.
You're presently bigger and stronger, and if you don't like what children do, you *discipline* them with some form of a hit on a specific body part/s. It has an effect of changing behaviors sometimes and hey, It didn't mess you up as a kid, right? It's your responsibility to teach your kids, and that's what you're doing...More power to you!
You are teaching them exactly how to treat you.
Let's go far into the future. It's been a good life. You're old, not as strong as you used to be. You may even be weak and you may have shrunk some. You did a good job. You're kids are now big and strong.
Now about spanking.
What's going to happen when you grown child doesn't like what you do?
Appaulling? Yes. Criminal? Yes. Heartless? Yes. (Unless they do it "out of love?" After all, you did it to them, "and they turned out just fine.") Besides, there is a big difference between a child and an elderly person. One is smaller and weaker, and ....wait. Nevermind.
Maybe it's not all that bad. I do try to see both sides of every situation. You'd never really want to hurt a kid. You're not that kind of person, afterall. Maybe you're not five times bigger and stronger than your child. Maybe you're just twice as big and twice as strong. In that case, when you're say 94, we'd only appoint someone two times your size and strength to have a go at your backside...."because they love you."
"Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you."
Have a good laugh if you will, and enjoy your Karma. We always get back what we give.
There's good news though. If you want patience, understanding and compassion when you're old and small, you have the opportunity to start stocking that account now. Give patience, understanding, and compassion the next time your kid messes up, and you'll teach them to give you the same. If your kids are grown, it's still not too late. Begin now showing them understanding, compassion and acceptance, and this will return to you.
So the next time you hear someone say, "It didn't hurt me," ask yourself, "WILL it hurt me?"...and if you can, remember the disciplines of positive reinforcement, the times someone liked what you did and said so, remember the smiles, and a pat on the back that just maybe, had something to do with the good person you are today.
To my children: I'll let you go daily, and wait open arms for your return. I'll celebrate every achievement of yours, and I'll remind you that I'm proud of you if you feel you fail. I'll smile at the sticky hands, hair spray and grass stains, or play pat-a-cake with you for as long as you want. I'll listen to your stories, without judgement, and encourage your dreams, because one day I'll be small again, and you'll treat me as I've treated you, with love that doesn't hit people.
Again, many defend their right to hit children (again, spank, slap, backhand, switch, etc.), and many still defend their right to hit women and people of other colors. As for today, neither I nor my children or grandchildren are property. No one is being hit, and to the dismay of avid hitters, no one has been imprisoned for lack of beatings. (Again, your word for hitting of choice may replace "beating," "hitting" etc.)
Below is a link to the "Children's Bill of Rights."
http://www.newciv.org/ncn/cbor.html
How do you want to teach them to treat you when you are old?
tina jones
Ridiculous to most of us now, yet this is exactly how I grew up. I had to be in charge of all household duties from the age of nine, and if dinner or breakfast wasn't perfect, it got thrown at me, and I was beaten. This was "Normal" for the subculture of a home I lived in, and not too far divorced from the times. So you don't hit your kids "that" hard. How hard would you like to be hit if it were called for? Can you hear this? The question was not, "Would you like to be hit?" or "Would you prefer not to be hit?" It's, "How hard?" Does this sound ridiculous or even humorous? Let's keep going.
Most of us have heard of the concept of "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you." Most of us would agree with it, I think.
Most of us adults would probably agree that if someone was upset with us, we'd have the right not to be hit in any way, further that if anyone even tried there should be laws in place to protect us, and maybe even get the aggressor off the streets where they couldn't do that again.
We don't always extend these ideas to children. I'm shocked at the number of people who proudly talk of hitting kids, spanking, slapping or whatever you want to call it. It is a different area of the body, so maybe if we were out in public and someone was upset with you, it would be ok if they hit you, as long as it was "out of love" and on the right part of your body.
Let me understand if I can. It's ok if the person is smaller, weaker and of a certain age to spank/hit/slap (on the right body part/s) if you don't like what they are doing and if it's "out of love," right? And only if it's a child, or maybe it's still women or perhaps people of a different color?
I can't seem to think that way. What I can do is think ahead.
Most people don't think ahead, rather they go retro with spanking with statements like, "My mom/dad tore my backside up, and I turned out just fine!" (They are entitled to that opinion, ofcourse. I'm sure by how they talk, it was a lovely experience. I just can't seem to identify.) They use their past experience as a way to justify hitting/spanking/slapping (the right body part, ofcourse) children today. I can understand using one's experience.
I can see the logic, somewhat, but what if we apply, "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you?" That's right. Let's go *future* with this! Whatever you do to your kid today, expect them to do to you eventually. You may have a point. I'm getting on your side. This may work. I'm willing to have an open mind. Let's look at it.
You're presently bigger and stronger, and if you don't like what children do, you *discipline* them with some form of a hit on a specific body part/s. It has an effect of changing behaviors sometimes and hey, It didn't mess you up as a kid, right? It's your responsibility to teach your kids, and that's what you're doing...More power to you!
You are teaching them exactly how to treat you.
Let's go far into the future. It's been a good life. You're old, not as strong as you used to be. You may even be weak and you may have shrunk some. You did a good job. You're kids are now big and strong.
Now about spanking.
What's going to happen when you grown child doesn't like what you do?
Appaulling? Yes. Criminal? Yes. Heartless? Yes. (Unless they do it "out of love?" After all, you did it to them, "and they turned out just fine.") Besides, there is a big difference between a child and an elderly person. One is smaller and weaker, and ....wait. Nevermind.
Maybe it's not all that bad. I do try to see both sides of every situation. You'd never really want to hurt a kid. You're not that kind of person, afterall. Maybe you're not five times bigger and stronger than your child. Maybe you're just twice as big and twice as strong. In that case, when you're say 94, we'd only appoint someone two times your size and strength to have a go at your backside...."because they love you."
"Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you."
Have a good laugh if you will, and enjoy your Karma. We always get back what we give.
There's good news though. If you want patience, understanding and compassion when you're old and small, you have the opportunity to start stocking that account now. Give patience, understanding, and compassion the next time your kid messes up, and you'll teach them to give you the same. If your kids are grown, it's still not too late. Begin now showing them understanding, compassion and acceptance, and this will return to you.
So the next time you hear someone say, "It didn't hurt me," ask yourself, "WILL it hurt me?"...and if you can, remember the disciplines of positive reinforcement, the times someone liked what you did and said so, remember the smiles, and a pat on the back that just maybe, had something to do with the good person you are today.
To my children: I'll let you go daily, and wait open arms for your return. I'll celebrate every achievement of yours, and I'll remind you that I'm proud of you if you feel you fail. I'll smile at the sticky hands, hair spray and grass stains, or play pat-a-cake with you for as long as you want. I'll listen to your stories, without judgement, and encourage your dreams, because one day I'll be small again, and you'll treat me as I've treated you, with love that doesn't hit people.
Again, many defend their right to hit children (again, spank, slap, backhand, switch, etc.), and many still defend their right to hit women and people of other colors. As for today, neither I nor my children or grandchildren are property. No one is being hit, and to the dismay of avid hitters, no one has been imprisoned for lack of beatings. (Again, your word for hitting of choice may replace "beating," "hitting" etc.)
Below is a link to the "Children's Bill of Rights."
How do you want to teach them to treat you when you are old?
tina jones
Sunday, March 13, 2011
One third of the people
One third of them are going to dislike you no matter what you do,
And one third of them aren't going to care one way or the other...no matter what you do.
It leads me to believe that it's best for us to be ourselves. Trying to please isn't going to change the statistics..."no matter what you do."
I've come to believe this to be true of art too. People like what they like. I think people are simply built for different likes, dislikes and apathy. I, for instance do not like sweet potatoes. No matter what you do to them, I'm not going to like them. It isn't personal, even if I were someone to whine at a sweet potatoe for not acting or tasting like I think it should, and even if I were to try to make the poor spud feel guilty about it. It's still going to be a sweet potatoe, and I still won't like it. I simply can't, because I'm in that one third (I'm not sure of the numbers in sweet potatoes) who is not going to like sweet potatoes.
Rice cakes. I don't really care one way or the other. They're ok, but I don't have it in me to love or dislike them. In my world they simply exist, because I'm in that (theoretical) one third that doesn't have any passionate feeling about rice cakes.
Strawberries, I love! I love them fresh, frozen even canned. I love them in pies, jam, dipped in cream, or plucked from the patch! I don't think I've met the strawberry I wasn't smitten with, and there is not a thing strawberries can do about that. I'm in the (imaginary) one third that loves strawberries with every fiber of my being. It's just the way I am, and has no bearing on strawberries whatsoever.
All of this to say, it doesn't pay much to worry about who doesn't like you or doesn't notice. Chances are it's nothing to do with you and more about that person's hardwiring. I think time is best spent with those who like, love and care about us.
I spent too much of my time thinking about those who didn't like me as a kid, and I neglected those who tried in every way possible to show me how much they cared. Those who loved me anyway were my precious one third who was going to love me no matter what I did. These are the ones I think of and devote my time to now. I am their strawberries, and they are mine.
Those who are perpetually disappointed in you have their own things to deal with. Let them go with your loving blessing. Those who don't care one way or the other, keep your arms open that they may come or go, and those who love you no matter what, give of your time, thoughts and care. Let them know you appreciate them. If your busy with all of that love, you won't have time for worry about people that you don't really matter to. Surround yourself with love, and give it freely. Be strawberries! hehe.
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