Frame Size: Though, I'm 5' 8 1/2", I am a "small framed" person, as determined by the following chart, and many others like it. My personal "elbow width," as used here, is 1 3/4", or less than an average woman of 4'10".
I'd always heard the phrase, "Big boned," applied to me and others like me who were overweight most of their lives. To find out I was not "big boned" was enlightening. The optimal weight for someone who is 5' 8 1/2", is a wide range falling between 123 1/2 lbs. and 166.8. lbs Being on the smaller side, I originally aimed at 135 lbs, but found that I was more comfortable between 145 and 149 lbs.
Each person is different in build and how they emotionally feel about being a certain weight. I was ok with what some would say was overweight at 149, but this is me, and I have to live in this body. I like being soft, and I don't mind some bulges. This is just my emotional feeling about me.
Coping With Other's Opinions:
Believe it or not, I even had some people say I was too skinny at that stage (beautiful bulges and all), and I had some try to push food on me even though I was well within normal range, and so very much healthier. I had to stop talking to them about my weight loss, because the guilt trips I was getting were so discouraging, and made me ashamed of my progress. Everyone it seems has had an opinion that they were all too willing to share with me about what I should weigh. I finally decided my opinion mattered. I had to get these people out of my daily diet. I don't know about other countries, but here in the United States, "Normal" wieghts are 20-40 over weight. Many are on various medications to control not only weight, but various illnesses caused by it, and many of those are on low fat diets, and starving themselves.
Facing fears of weight loss:
New Angles: I thought I was beautiful at 253 lbs., and sometimes I miss the weight. (I know that sounds strange, but it's true.) It has been hard for me to lose the pretty round face I use to have that I thought made me look more like my mother who is beautiful. Now, when I see the angles in my face, I see my father. I had a hard time looking at me during that adjustment. I'd always thought he was ugly, so seeing him plainly in me meant I had to get a better attitude about him and me. Well, my grandfather, his father, just loved a movie star who was very angular. This is weird, but I kept a photo of her on my computer to go look at whenever I felt bad about my new thin face. It was Raquel Welch! If he thought she was beautiful, and I did to, then I must have some beauty in me.Further, my granddaughter is thin, beautiful and she looks like me. It was hardly honest for me to think these ladies were beautiful while putting myself down. Once I saw the dishonesty in my opinion of myself, I had to let it go.
Attention from the Opposite Sex: It's been frightening at times when I get more male attention than I'm used to. I realize now that alot of the weight gain was to protect me from having to deal with that. Again, I had a reality check. It has NEVER mattered what weight I was. Someone was ALWAYS attracted. Honesty came in the acceptance that I cannot control that, that I'm safe, and other people's issues need not show up in extra pounds by the dozens on me.
Old Fears: Early in life I got sick with strep, and couldn't eat for two weeks. I was ten years old. Another time, I was so poor, that I ate a meager bowl of 1/3 cup soup a day to make it last a month. Along the way of my weight loss journey, I had to face those personal fears. I had to learn to trust that I didn't "need" this extra weight in case something happened where I might starve. I had to stop keeping this fear weight to protect me, and begin to trust.
Honesty About My Weight, Health and Self Esteem: The only point is what you weigh should be healthy and feel good to you. For me, because of my small frame to weigh 155 lbs. is uncomfortable. The fat gathers on me under my ribs, and causes difficulty in breathing. I am an "apple" shape, which means I do not gain in my legs and hips, but around my torso where organs are smashed by extra weight. Size and shape do not matter to me. Comfort and health does.
Here is a common weight calculator that will provide such a range, like many others. If you find that you are "large framed," you'd probably feel better being closer to the higher amount.
Here are some photos of me at my heaviest: 253+ lbs
|10/28/2011: Me at 159 lbs:|
I am obviously not skinny. Check my belly. I am wearing a CHILD's size 6x. Seriously concerned about over weight children. I remember my children wearing a 6x, and there is no way they were half the size I am in this photo. The numbers have stayed the same on clothing, yet the clothes have gotten bigger.
Marylin Monroe's Measurements as told in above link: 37-23-36
Barbie's Measurements as told in above link: 39-18-33
My Measurements: 40-34.5-39
(I figure since I once resembled an adorable to me, Cabbage Patch Doll, why not play Barbie Doll? The point being, no matter what size a person is, they are beautiful. No, we're not dolls, but I'm in no position to be cutting Barbie down any more than I was to cut down Teddy Bears or Cabbage Patch Kids. End Rant.
Photo by Tod Fent
For me, goal is anywhere between 135 and 149, so I'm great!
Following are more photos taken by Tod Fent of me at Goal.
Simply Me 1
Salute to Barbie 1
Salute to Barbie 2
Nods to Nigella (because she bugs a friend, but I think she's gorgeous. hehe)
Who needs Kathleen Turner? hehe (Love her!)
Simply Me 2
...and finally with much, much gratitude....
I am healthy again!
Update!!! 7/4/12: Join me for weightloss tips on youtube! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ay7oZJc0PlA