Lion Heart in Midnight Flame

Tired in a dark forest of life, he found me, and found something of hope. I had little left, but for him I would. I was going, but I stayed long past life's rent was due. We danced round night fires and such was something of heaven. He bid me, "Come! Play in the sun!" and I can't. I stay cloaked by wood's edge while he goes and waves to me. And I have something of joy to see him do the things I cannot. And I watch him, the sun in me, play in the two o'clock sky as if it were easy.
   Sometimes, though I try to stay grateful, I come to self pity. I fall to envy those who can enjoy the sun. I hear them speak of the beauty of day break, and play of summer, but I can't. My skin does not like the sun. The dark side of the Lion Heart is the Destroyer. The giver of life in Spring is the taker in August, and the Wheel spins peaceful complete. What was once play is poison, though my bones at times long for it's warmth. I've had to see the beauty of night, because of because of this. I look at photos streaming rays, and I remember fondly, but now the Moon is my Sun. closed blinds, because the older I grow, the more sensitive my eyes to light, but I remember greens and light so bright it washed even reds from sight.
   I have candle beside me, a small bit of sun. We're one. I take to my brushes to create light, and maybe the sun was in me all a long. Maybe I burn enough within, and that's why the night is no longer dark, but full of color and often warm. I am not like all, but I am like many who, brush in hand see through our fingers and feel the sun in people, stars in eyes, light from a breath.
   We ecstatically wretched, the vampiric servants, the portraitists, steal or borrow only bits of souls, touches of light, when too much is too hot, and issue eternity through the life's blood of tearful brushstrokes. Free-falling, we descend into wells of such sweet agony, that we would do it again and again, It's all we have, or all I do, and in our own little by death, by little, each time more gone than the time before, we see you breathe, and for a moment together we breathe, and though I may go one day, taking a name with me that is not who I was, simply drawn on your shoulders, I joy in knowing you will live forever in light.
Do not remember me. Leave me the rose amber glow of shadows. Remember you were loved, and give it away as though your life depended on it.
 It does.
  As for Death, Enough foreplay. Either come and get me, or the get out of my way. ...
Waiting a moment,
My candle still burns. I thought as much.
Dearest Companion, I'll run to you when I'm ready. Step aside, or make yourself useful.
Brushes need washing, there are yet more dances in the night, and I have painting to do.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClQcUyhoxTg

tina jones

Prayer of the Surrendered

This day, may I leave drive and determination fondly to the puberty where I practiced it. May I leave the self will and self propulsion of leaps of faith, and never forget what it was to surrender, deserving only the best, as all do, may I retain my taste for free falls of faith. "Anything" and "Thankyou" are my prayers. What a ride....when I'm not running the show. May I let go of making "it" happen, and live fully, passionately in the discovery of innocense.
tina jones


"Emma"
18x24"
Oil On Canvas



Celebrating One Year of Blogging!

Today is the day! It's been one whole year!
I Thank You All for the support, the tears and laughs through this past year. I look at the thoughtful comments and statistics page, and see people from all over the world are reading. I had no idea that would happen, and I often wonder what I have to offer you. I'm a painter from a little town in Kentucky, U.S. I have Autism, I'm 14 years clean and sober, and I'm a cancer survivor. There have been more failures than successes in this life, and I would not change a single thing...... Don't you see? My life wasn't supposed to be this good. smiles. Thank you!
 I hope that you've found reason to smile, seen the value in simply being you, and have had opportunity to be still now and then. I hope you've had cause to see beauty in life, moments of gratitude and a few laughs. I hope you've seen the acceptance and love we all look for in your own eyes, and I hope you've had the chance to love others just because it feels good to be the love that you are.
  I don't know where we're going in the comming year, but as long as people like you are beside me, I'm ready. smiles. So, here's to more paintings, more decadance, more insights into a world of my often misunderstanding, more passion, more gratitude, and another precious day at a time to simply be.

   Toward friendships, old and new, I can only give you what I have. Here are some photo steps of my latest portrait. A video featuring these photos, and much more can be seen at my youtube channel here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQDwRcr1Wxo

Canvas in grey (black an white gesso) Grid in White Charcoal. Laying in features in Black Acrylic.

Using Black with much medium, laying in shadows.

Shadows on the whites of the eyes and contour.

White brings out facial topography, indicates moisture in the eyes and on the lips.

"Conchi"
portrait of a friend
16x20"
Acrylic on Canvas

 Many blessings, and in this moment..... live! smiles.
tina jones

L'Etoile De La Matin

    Like all of us, I have layers. What is at first seen is me, and what is seen after time and upclose is me too. Glances at people reveal instant impressions, yet when savored.....looked at through eyes who have experienced the person, what is revealed can often be the beauty of time. Scars, wrinkles, marks of life show life lived, sometimes hard and sometimes peacefully.
   I hope today I can see beyond first impressions, beyond the stories of life's lines, through the glisten of an eye and into the universe of the soul. Therein, lives beauty all else merely tries to reflect.
   For today, I wish you a timeless moment, where you may catch your glance or get caught in the eternity of another's being, and see the most beautiful of things. You.

"L'Etoile De La Matin"

(Morning Star)

Self Portait

18x24

Acrylic on canvas

For a step by step photo montage of this painting, please visit my youtube channel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFIlA1vrq0k

tina jones

p.s. Title given by an anonymous soul who has loved me beyond comprehension.

   

Messing With the Masters: Leonardo DaVinci Video

If you've been reading, you know I have a thing for Leo. This is my first effort at painting him, but I'm sure I'm not done. This is a roughly two hour work, just to show what can be done.

"Waking Leonardo"
30x40"
Acrylic on Canvas

Following is a video I made of this piece with a short commentary on the gifts of Autism.

http://youtu.be/B1w5lzqOXlk

Come Home

 Should you choose to enter my world, then you must first forget. Become simple.

  Forget all that has been learned of life and knowledge and what farce there may be in accepted *wisdom,* Become an innocent and be willing to experience the awe of a child. Be willing to tremble at the strength of an evening sun, be willing to catch snow flakes on your tongue and to dig your toes into the sand. Become a child with me.



"First Kiss"
18x24 Oil on Canvas

   I shake my head at those who sarcastically negate what youth know so easily claiming life taught them differently. "Ah, yes, I knew everything when I was that young too!" They laugh.

   I tell you now, if you want to know how to hope or love, ask a child. They have not yet learned the cynicism, negativity or the defeat of social standards. They have not learned of judgement or who is better than whom. They have not built walls or shunned differences. Indeed, these people know love, and forbid they ever know the arrogance of my age.

   These are my teachers, the innocent with their small words, big smiles and real tears. These are my Masters. I pray to grow enough to become what I always was under the labels, before the standards, behind  my judgements. I pray to know the wisdom of a child.

   So, maturity is to me growing enough to unlearn and growing small enough to hope, to love freely with the wonder of a child. I seek such clarity, and miss it by miles.

   Don't grow up with me. Grow small with me. Come home, and per chance, lead me there too.

"Return to Innocence" Enigma: h://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rk_sAHh9s08