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Tuesday, June 23, 2015

I'm a Great Introvert

I'm a great introvert. You never hear an extrovert saying, "I'm a terrible extrovert," yet I all too often hear, "I'm a terrible introvert." Self judgement can be pretty cruel. I don't talk a lot, but I am a great listener, because I can be still and not have to fill the air with meaningless sound. Conversation isn't a performance, nor a competitive sport. It's a real opportunity to connect, and if no one is listening, it wont happen. If you don't know what to say, that's your cue that listening is your job in that moment. If they don't know what to say, I don't have to rescue them from silence either. Silence between people can be a very, very beautiful thing. For me, that awkward stage of not knowing what to say, is a natural place on the path to realizing nothing need be said. (and it didn't just happen in the beginning. It's just I stopped judging myself for it.) The way I am around people (or in any situation) is not what I thought it was or should be when I was drinking. It's all new. If others are uncomfortable with your stillness, they have steps too. Be good to you. If you're like I was, it's about time to do so. Until you're more comfortable with it, you can do what I and so many others have done. smiles. Be that member that brings their crochet to meetings. It worked for me. and I never even liked crocheting.   07/23/97 (But the only sobriety that counts is what I have right in this moment) An aside. I'm a very private person, and out of respect for that and A.A., I keep recovery to private groups, so I don't accept outside friend requests, any more than I'd invite all of you into my living room if we were at a face to face meeting. I'm off to listen some more...I'm still learning.