I Believe in RED

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”

                                                                                               Audrey Hepburn

Probably one of the sweetest quotes I see fairly often, and read it always with a smile. There's an elegance and innocense to her in words and visage that becons the "girl" in most all of us. 

  I can't help, when seeing these words, reflecting on what "I believe," and if it might have any use to others in their own self searches.

  I figure I might as well give it a go! :)

Ahem..Is this thing on?  Testing, one, two...and

   I believe in RED, Pink was o.k. when I was two, but I want a color that, by God, will commit to being a color. Stand up and say, "I am Red! Deal with it!" I believe that if I've stopped laughing for any calculable length of time, someone needs to hit me with cardiac paddles or toss dirt on me. I believe in kissing. I believe in kissing here, here, here, and here and here too. I believe that the strongest people are those who fall apart on a regular basis. I believe that happiness is about being true to ourselves, and if that means lipstick or sweating in a garden, working at a factory, nursing a child, teaching the deeper meaning of haiku, or pole dancing, you are probably absolutely beautiful doing it!. 

  I believe in passion. I believe that potatoes, pasta and rice were invented by people to cunningly take up space on my plate where bacon is meant to be. I believe in one inch thick steaks without trimming the fat, and I believe in salad mostly so people don't yell at me. I believe I'd better plan for tomorrow, but live here and now, and now I'd like Sam Elliot to be here. I need a cook. 

    I believe there are secrets in dandelion fluff. I believe that amazing paintings are waiting in paint tubes, but they are not going to squirt themselves out on to a canvas. I believe in cutting the elastic tops off of over-sized sweat socks, so they slouch properly. I believe the best part of the day is that thirty minute stretch thing to find the right spot that I have to do when I climb into bed at night. I believe that mustard and pickles should be a food group.  I believe that the sky shows off every evening in colors just to make me envious enough to dream of painting them. I believe in cheese. 

     I believe Robin Williams is probably the best lay on the planet. I believe in wearing big skirts and spinning around to watch them become aloft. I believe there is music in the stars, and that it's blasphemy not to dance to it. I believe in feeling the artist's being in a clay bowl that I can hold. I believe sometimes when I don't know what to do, my spirit leaps from my body to silently tell some gloriously wrinkled and tired woman or the man that pushes his back to feed his children, "You are beautiful!" I believe when I put my fingers in running water, it should always be with reverence, and the water enjoys touching me. i believe in never using hair spray, lest I miss the combing of a breeze.

     I believe in cruise control and loud music in the car, and singing poorly. I believe the sound of whale's song is beautiful but nothing compares the sounds of my children and grandchildren. I believe in acting sillier than my grandchildren. I believe that, because that's not too much of a challenge, it must mean I'm gifted!
 I believe sometimes cookies and pickles make a great breakfast. I believe it's simply better to love, and you don't have to wait for a person or circumstance to do it. You're already right there waiting to be loved by you. I believe, "Witch Hazel" is a funny thing to say. I believe cursing is necessary to maintain the dignity of a conversation at times. Knowing those times is a challenge. I believe that everything and everyone I see is mine and part of me, and loving you taught me how to love me. 

Finally, I believe in knowing when to stop. I just haven't learned it yet.

tina jones

The Decision to Be Who I Am

If at first you don't succeed, it's likely the Universe had a better plan for you.  At least that's my experience. I'm grateful for the ideas that didn't turn out, the dreams that didn't come true. These made way for other things that my imagination is simply not big enough to have thought up.
  Very early in school, the class was asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" It must have been around 1970 or 71. My family was, perhaps a little further (or a lot) behind, because it had not occured ot me, given what I saw, that I would "be" anything other than a wife and a mom one day. That was my basic training. Though school taught me there were other options, home life contiued to raise a bride, a mom and a servant/leader/protector/entertainer of family. I still consider it a dignified and difficult job, one that I didn't always fare well at, infact.
   The question shook my foundation. I was born or raised somewhere in the cultural flip between "Lib" of The Waltons and Mary Tyler Moore's office antics. I thought Lib was tougher, so I liked her better, but Mary was funny.  Scanning my personal knowledge of what women "did," outside of my family, there were things like the electrician's wife, and the preacher's wife, both positions of which seemed to require the wearing of light blue. I never could take to baby blue, so those were out. There were teachers, but they always wore seasonal vests it seemed with leaves on them for autumn and snowmen later or bunnies. It seemed too fluffy and bulky. Red! I liked red! I liked alot of colors, but red was the end-all in color. I mean if you want to be a color, you can try, but until you make it to red, you're just practicing. That was the thinking anyway. I came up with the answer!
  "I want to be a fireman!"
    The entire class burst into a roar of laughter, and while I was trying to figure out what I did that was funny (I wasn't smart enough to be embarassed.) the teacher looked at me with an, "Isn't that adorable?" pitiful sort of look. In short order, I was informed that my choices were, "Teacher, Nurse or Stay at home Mom."  I'm not sure if anyone told me, or if that was the limit of my imagination.That narrowed things down some.
   I became a bar tender. I became many things. I tried the nurse part, the somebody's wife part, and none of those panned out, despite my early training as boo boo kisser and egg salad enchantress. The only vocation I ever stuck to was the Mom part, and I'm still enjoying that. Retirement doesn't happen, but the dividends keep rolling in. grins.
   After a very long time, and all of this *being* different things, I found out that I was something. Decades of playing with crayons, pencils and paint, doing portraits, scenes and animals, while trying to figure out what I wanted to "be," sorted itself out. I didn't have to "become" an artist when I grew up. I already was one. Again, "Retirement doesn't happen, but the dividends keep rolling in."
   My two best jobs in life are Mom and Artist, and with a life like that, who'd want to retire, anyway? I've got it pretty good.
   I never did make it to "fireman," but I still like red.
tina jones

Photo by me, of me, being me.
I may paint this some day.
I may make more egg salad with paprika, but either way....
Red will be involved.