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Monday, January 9, 2012

Hygiene Humor? Oh why not?!

Because I know how men love hearing it, (sarcasm) tomorrow I have to go to the store to procure feminine supplies. (cool how I was all delicate there, huh?)
   Well, normally I hate shopping, but this I love. When I'm toting that stuff around, you see,
NO ONE messes with me! Even other women will enter the same aisle, see it, slowly back up and let me go by. It works better than two guard dogs and a tin of mace. I'm thinking of buying that stuff every time I go to the store, just as a crowd buffer! (I guess I could use the extras for wall insulation or emergency candles...)
   Oddly, to me,  they're scared because they think I'm going to be/act a certain way, as if my guard is going to come down emotionally, that some weird creepy stuff is going to show up, and it does.
   What they don't know is that I get uncharacteristically....ready?... cuddly! I know. It's crazy, scary. The worst thing that could happen is that this normally "Hug me and lose a carotid!" lady could possibly affectionately squeeze a door greeter. No one needs that.
   What they don't know won't hurt them though, and it gets me through the check out quicker.
 (wickedly) heh heh heh!
tina jones

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