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Monday, January 2, 2012

Resolutions Of the NOW

After a lifetime of failing every New Year's Resolution I made, berating myself, and giving up until the next new year, I quit. For me, I was setting up for failure, and didn't realize it. I made resolutions that were far beyond my reach or capacity. I'd push myself mercilessly to attatain them, and caving under my own self imposed pressure, I'd give up. Further, my plan was set up to free me of trying again for an entire year. Perfect.
  For numerous reasons, my life had to get very simple some time back. It's been about 22 years since my last New Year's resolution. I had to live in the day.
  Now, there's nothing that irritates me more than an overused cliche, and heaven forbid a platitude, but when they work, they work.
  Enter the music to "Mission Impossible." Here's the task: I've got 24 hours, not a minute more, nor less. This is it. This hour is the ONLY time I've got. What will I resolve to do? Seconds are stake.
  Choose the cake that causes cavities or drink a glass of water and have a salad?
   "Never" gets left out of language when NOW is all you have. Never having cake again "never" enters my mind. Having it one day months or weeks ahead of NOW is not a thought I have time for. Here and now is all that matters when it comes to my actions. Plans don't count, Intentions don't count. The action I take in this moment does.
   This is the hour, not the year, this is the hour. Will I paint? This is it, no tomorrows, no "laters," here and now.
   The beauty is there are no "wrong" choices. The only important matter is that I make Conscious choices. Maybe in this hour there will be cake, but I will be aware that I chose it. Do I choose healthy or not? Do I choose this hour to run myself ragged trying to please someone who may take up ten minutes of my day later, or do I take a much needed rest?
   Every minute counts. Do I choose to work so hard that I miss an opportunity, maybe the last one, to laugh with a friend? This is it.
   Do I allow myself to plan or dream in this hour, or do I spend it in fear and self defeat?
   Do I choose to improve my intelligence or do I choose a movie that's bored me three times before?
   Do I choose to help or hide in fear?
   Here and now. Do I choose stillness, so I strengthen myself to be there for someone who may need me later, or do I choose worry and make myself too tired to help?
  Do I choose to turn the music off in this hour or will I dance?
   Down to days, hours and minutes, priorities reveal themselves so splendidly.
   I have to go now. I have to giggle on the phone with my daughter, and likely I'll choose some laughing bubbles for my bath after, but I don't have to worry about that now..This hour is for joy.
tina jones

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