I Wasn't Always Braless Trailer Trash...Really

   I'm one of , "Those" neighbors. You know one that sleeps when she needs to, and often does her shopping in odd hours for the convenience of less traffic and a more peaceful grocery experience. Frankly, I'm nothing but trouble. ;) I do things like use headphones for music that I like to sometimes play particularly loudly, because I don't want to disturb my neighbors with hearing, "The Electric Slide" at 3AM. It just seems considerate, but I may be mistaken.

  Apparently, I am loved. No, I mean really loved by one of my neighbors. (Ugh) I've neglected to talk to her much, because she shares a lot. (Gossips) You know, because she, "Cares." I don't gossip, and don't listen to it, and it's caused her a terrible amount of worry along with not being able to witness me coming and going as I've neglected to do so when she has a clear, daylight view. I'm terrible, really. I'm not paying proper attention. I should be thinking of her, but I'm selfish like that. (?)

10/05/2013 Yesterday afternoon:
   Welp....There's my socializing for a while. I just introduced myself to a cop by saying, "I'm braless and half naked. Hi. My name is Tina Jones!" :D (That's me trying to be a social butterfly. I'm not sure how well I did.) I was in my night shirt, sweats and socks. Having just gotten out of the shower, when I heard loud banging on my door. I said, "Just a minute!" Ran to cover myself with something, and went back to the door.

   It was my neighbor again, "Whimsical," energetic creature, obedient husband in tow, with her usual, "We thought you were dead!" routine. I'm not sure how she hits the vocal notes she does. Charming sort, if a bit excitable, she said she even called the police.  <3  (Because she was worried about me ;) ) She informed me he was checking around the back of my house. I told her I'd take care of it, and she scampered away (Not giggling "out loud") like a little girl who just stole a cookie. Adorable in a way. She taps into that part of me that wants to hand a kid soda pop and candy money, that or phone her mother and have her grounded, but she's in her sixties, so it's tricky. Bless her heart? (I'm still not going swimming with her as she requested, nor am I going to her house to sit and talk as invited. Thanks, but, nah. It's just not my thing. I do "usually" keep my clothes on in public.)

  Touching delicately as possible on my braless situation, I'm pulling 34G's here. I, "Make a statement," whether I want to or not and whether the "girls" are properly tethered or not, but I had bigger things to take care of than my lack of mammary composure...a'swinging I went. :D Understand that I'm not one to "share" a lot with the locals, much less with threats of, "Indecent Exposure" looming unspoken over public activities. I do have some decorum, but life calls.

   I dutifully marched toward my side yard where I met the nice officer, shook his hand, and introduced myself, explaining that I'd just gotten out of the shower, I've not been out much as I've not been sleeping well at night, I was fine, the extra mail in my box was because despite filling out forms at the post office that two residents that were here before me no longer live here, I still receive extra store fliers for them.

   The most beautiful, "Aha...." crept over his face as he absorbed the crazy of the situation. I thanked him for checking on me, and he wished me a pleasant day. (I didn't mention to him that I was particularly impressed with the display of  professionalism in his ability to maintain eye contact. It seemed considerate not to do so. Excellent work there, though. He's my superhero now.) I've seen our local police force taking breaks at a nearby burger place, and as we've inadvertently bonded, I may begin to start showing up, saying, "Hi, how are the kids?" and whatnot. I'm not good at chit-chat, but I'm willing. Maybe we can send one another Christmas cards, and stuff like that.

     I love socializing! Not much, but in a pinch, I can do it. I called the sheriff's office myself after calming down from my surprise visit to come up with some solution, and told the lady on the phone the situation with my, "friendly social neighbor," and she laughed saying she had one like that too. She told me my neighbor said I had a lot of mail in my mailbox, and I answered, "I don't know how she knew that."(Knowing it's not legal to get in someone else's mailbox) I asked if I might leave my phone number with them as a contact should she panic again, and they kept it for me. She understood that I couldn't give my number to my neighbor lady as she'd be calling allllll of the time. I told the lady I may put an, "I'm not dead" sign on my door, and she said, "You may have to eventually." (She laughed) I also offered that I may put a, "Day Sleeper" sign up, so my neighbor wont have a spell if I don't answer my door. After consideration, I'm thinking of installing one of my easels on my porch and alternating signs. 1. I'm not dead, 2. I'm still not dead, and so forth. Alternatively, I may sit on my front porch and watch her back a few times a week. You know, "Because I'm worried." ;) It seems considerate.

  Later, I wrote our kind gents in beige (Right sharp looking, and frankly, I prefer it to blue.) on Facebook to introduce myself, make sure they too had my phone number, and let them know that I'm on Facebook chatting with friends and family most days. That way, they can see I'm not dead online as well. I hope they got a good laugh, as I did...eventually.

    Our story closes with me making friends with our local police force, and still  holding my ground at not socializing with the neighbor lady...even if she thinks I'm dead.  :)

tina jones