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Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Ah, Spring: Let the Bodies Hit the Floor!

May I share? Here it goes(I can't stop myself!)
     Spring means one thing to me: Outdoor bugs will come to life, and they want to bond with me. It is March 20, and where I live that means a ground thaw. So it begins...

     I woke just now from a nap, grabbed my oversized Tshirt and put it on. Damned tag itched, but you just deal with it, acrobatically scratch it out of place, until it's pleasantly un-tucked from shirt, and go about your business, or mine, or something. I began brushing my teeth when I saw, over half the size of my ring finger, yes! A large black, shiny water bug out of the corner of my eye on my left shoulder. I took the brush out of my mouth, and smacked the Pterodactyl off, but couldn't find the damned thing!
   I dropped the toothbrush, and I might say the vibrating brush beating the sink, added a certain, "Je ne sais qua?" to the situation. It was loud! I got the shirt off by getting my right arm out carefully, just incase the dragon bug from Hell was still on me somewhere, then slipping my head out, finally the left arm, and dancing about like a three year old future princess on Meth, attempting to get away from the BEAST, and I didn't even know where it was!
   Having, "Jitter-bugged" my way out of the bathroom, I peeked back in and saw Golliath, holding on under the lip of my vanity table, and I hopped passed it to grab a pretty pink (Seriously?) fly-swatter/world-saver!
   Nabbing my (bad-ass for it's color) weaponry, I landed a nervous if exacting blow to the six-legged DEATH LOBSTER, and crushed the nasty guts out of it.....on my white vanity table. 
   Victory is a bittersweet mistress, indeed.
(Cue Taps)
tina jones

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